it's time!

I'm back :)

I apologize for not blogging for, er, four months. Sadly, it's a sign that life has gotten to that terrible crazy point where I don't have enough time to reflect. I'm not sure if that's a bad thing or a good thing... maybe the optimistic perspective is that reflecting might make me just realize how crazy things truly are. Maybe just flying through four months of chaos without any self-reflection was some crazy coping mechanism that helped me survive.

I sound melodramatic, and I know it... but I haven't liked school much lately. I enjoy research, and I enjoy the math. I enjoy my new friends, my dog, my apartment... but the things that I REALLY enjoy (time, old friends, music, writing, sleep, Cory) haven't been enough of a part of this year for my liking. The stress is getting to me, too... every other day seems to be one of those 8am to 2am deals. Yuck.

The traveling has been insane, too. Tons of wedding festivities (for ourselves and others!), which is soooo exciting... but such a strange contrast to my double life studying the emergence of physiological neurodevelopmental symptoms... a few conferences, wedding meetings, gown fittings... and my adviser just got a grant that will go towards us flying around the country to assess children with fragile x. Literally -- with very little notice -- we will be hoping on planes with our bags of tricks, heading out to test how infants respond to us stressing them out, etc.

Needless to say, my car is a strange combination of bridesmaid dresses, dog toys, and assessment kits.

Oh, and I moved. My neighbor was harboring a fugitive or something, and the lady tried to get me to drive her somewhere... so we figured it was a good time to switch into our married nest. Cory doesn't live here yet, but we have enough space for us and the dog(s). ... and a second bedroom for when friends come to visit!!! Great for football season!

Luckily, next year will be more balanced. I'm working in the lab for free this year to get experience, but I got hired on for this summer and next year (meaning NO MORE GRADING OR TEACHING!!). We have one less class next year, and I'll start doing practicum in the school, which will be a refreshing break from current chaos. No more yucky intro classes, no more of certain professors... it's going to be glorious :) ..and no more traveling to see the love of my life!!

AND WE'LL BE MARRIED! I can't believe the wedding is less than 70 days away. Truly, the slow, beautiful realization that I get to be Cory's wife has kept me motivated this year. The thought that I get to come home to him next year -- instead of just to my crazy, carpet chewing, bobby-pin eating, ewok-looking dog -- makes my heart so happy. We're ready to be a family... as ready as we'll ever be, anyway :) I'm so lucky he'll be part of my every-second life :).

As excited as I am, all the wedding planning is getting a little crazy. We finally chose groomsmen attire, the invitations are ordered, favors are started, catering is set (look forward to a "slider bar" with the best mini-mango pork sammies and "shots" of mint-watermelon salad EVER!)... too many "to-do's" to count, but they're all exciting. Mom hand calligraphed our invitations (just like she did hers!), so I'm really looking forward to seeing them. Navy calligraphy, ecru cards, aqua silk ribbons, and teal envelopes!

I've learned that wedding planning is the ultimate perpetual opportunity for procrastination. Always something to do that truly should be done. Perfect recipe for anti-productivity, now?

Speaking of procrastination, I have a 30 page paper yuckily hanging over my head. If I can survive this week, I'll be in the clear -- lectured, presented a case, and took a quiz today -- 30 page paper, work portfolio, 3 report reviews, case presentation thursday -- quiz, travel research assessment, and homework due friday.... and have to grade 80 tests tomorrow.

Summer is SO CLOSE!!