mid-term chaos

Well, my ambitious intentions to blog my heart out this year have--yet again--epically failed. This semester has been possibly more insane than the others combined. I'm enjoying it much more, for the most part... much less homework, but much more work work... plus a wonderful family to keep me somewhat sane. Now I just feel like an underpaid employee of a research lab, rather than a grasping-for-air first year. One step up, I suppose.

Things at home are still going well -- trying to cook and enjoy Co's company when I can, but our schedules are disappointingly opposite. He's out of the house earlier than me, and I don't get home until late.. and he goes to bed early. Weekends have been dominated by the football gods, so not too much quality time there, either. Even when I take time off to spend mindless hours eating unhealthy tailgating food and staring at men tackling each other alongside my husband, Sunday becomes a frantic time of catch-up, often resulting in zero sleep and a rough start to the week.

I'm in the middle of one of those Sundays right now, actually.

I'm craving a balanced life, but it's hard right now. Harder than it was last year, probably because my heart is tied to another. I'm not complaining about the tied hearts -- I love being married to Cory. It's just hard balancing work and a stable home life... even though I love my time spent both places.

It's pretty common in our program to run ragged.. get to the point where the seemingly impossible has to happen.. and last week was definitely one of those weeks. I tried to relax this weekend, but I never got time to "mourn" over the lost time and sanity that seems to have happened over the last few weeks. Even though I feel a little more balanced and went to bed around 10 Friday and Saturday nights, I am constantly on the verge of tears.

I keep thinking back to my college counseling class -- our bodies go into depression when we're overwhelmed.. it's a healthy way to "take ourselves out of the game" and recoup. I know I'm depressed right now. Not in the clinically-significant realm, but in the practical way. My body is protesting the late hours and lack of normal social stimulation. I also constantly feel guilty for not spending more time with family... even though my parents totally understand and support me. I knew grad school would be hard. I just need to get back in a balanced groove emotionally. I need to figure out how to take myself out of the game before my body does it for me. I'll get there.

Although it is overwhelming at times, work has been so stimulating and fun this year -- lots of big, exciting projects and opportunities. I'm working on two papers right now and a big grant proposal, as well as two or three conference presentations for the spring. On Friday, we successfully piloted an attention paradigm I've been frantically working on.. I almost cried when the sweet baby's face bobbled successfully from side to side, watching the balloons disappear.

We leave tomorrow morning for a 36 hour trip to San Francisco .. where we will be hauling a suitcase of standardized toys, two laptops, an LCD screen, physio equipment, and a home-made attention "tent" (thank you, ladder golf, felt, and patient husband) ... to see a sweet baby with fragile X. These assessments provide precious data, but the travel and "high stakes" scripting can be overwhelming - everything has to be flawless.

Although the assessment will be a neat experience, I'm nervous about losing two days of class work and week prep... we have three more assessments when we get back, plus 8 hours of practicum, work, and classes/homework. Cory's parents are coming in town next weekend, too.. then the next week my midterm assignments start to be due.

Yes, the balance becomes a challenge. I just need to figure out how to find peace in the moments between the projects and papers and deadlines. Last week I found myself sitting in my car between classes, closing my eyes, and just listening to one song.. just to give myself a break from the numbers and madness. Even those three minutes of peace refreshed my heart a bit.

Taking time out to watch life evolve has helped, too. We celebrated a beautiful baby shower yesterday with two of our close friends who are expecting twin girls.. and just soaking in the joy and the excitement was incredibly refreshing. Our friends have overcome so much to bring the sweet babies into this world.. it's such a good reminder to me of how far love, patience, and hope can go.

Little breaks for inspiration and peace. That will be my goal for the week.

back to school

Tomorrow... it begins again.

First day, second year. Granted, this year is supposed to be easier than the last -- and we survived that one -- but there's still something daunting surrounding it. I mapped out my lab schedule today and kissed 20 solid hours (plus writing) -- in the lab alone -- goodbye. Add to that a 16 hour class schedule and one full day of practicum each week..

.. oh, and homework?..

yikes. Part of the dauntingness is that I know I have a family at home waiting for me now. Working late isn't just productive -- it also takes away from things I can't take back. It's not a balance I'm particularly used to discerning. ...not that I'm complaining :) I love coming home to Co and Moo.

I'm excited about the opportunities this year, though. The department is adding an extra concentration for students pursuing extra stats classes.. I'm figuring out masters thesis info.. discerning expanding my research interests a bit.. it's all fun and exciting. Let the discernment continue.

So for all of you going back to school - best wishes for a year of inspiration and growth. Here are a few yummy recipes from our last summer dinner to help get you started.



Jalapeno Grilled Corn
courtesy of Rachel Ray

1 stick of butter (don't worry, you wont eat it all)
1 jalapeno, halved and seeds removed
2 t paprika
juice of one lime
1/2 lime zested
corn (butter is enough to make a bunch!)

Place all ingredients (except corn) in a food processor and pulse. If the butter has trouble mixing in, microwave for a few seconds. Put scrape the butter mixture onto wax paper and fold to make a block. Put in fridge for 5-10 minutes. Grill the corn, then serve by rubbing with jalapeno butter. Sprinkle with salt and enjoy!!



Yummy Turkey Burgers

1 lb ground turkey
1 egg white
1/3 vidalia onion, diced
1/4 green bell pepper, diced
2 T bread crumbs
1 t kosher salt
1 t pepper

Mix ingredients in bowl, form into patties, and grill! Serve on 100 cal wheat sandwich rounds (or plain with a side of BBQ!).



Butter Pecan Zoku Pops

3/4 c almond milk
1/2 t vanilla extract
1 T brown sugar
3/4 c pecans
1 1/2 T sugar free caramel

Combine ingredients in magic bullet, pour into molds, wait 7 minutes, and enjoy!

Date Night Dinner

Cory and I cooked this next yummy meal on a fun date night in :) Enjoyed with peach mojitos -- although I won't post that recipe until it's PERFECT. Pairs nicely with a terrible "comedy", I might add..


Pork Loin Braised with Beer and Cabbage
modified from Cooking Light: Way to Cook

4 t paprika
2 t thyme
1.5 t kosher salt
1.5 t pepper
1 t sage
2 lbs boneless pork loin, trimmed
4 slices bacon, chopped
1 head of green cabbage thinly sliced
2 medium onions, thinly sliced
3 thinly sliced carrots
1 small can tomato paste
1 bottle beer

1. Preheat oven to 350
2. Combine 2 t paprika, 1 t thyme, 1 t salt, 1 t pepper, and sage - rub over pork.
3. Heat a large Dutch oven over medium high heat, coat with PAM and brown pork on all sides (about 5 mins total). Remove pork from pan.
4. Add bacon to pan, cook until crospy. Add onion, cook for a few minutes, then add carrots. Cook until onion is caramelized, then add tomato paste. Add rest of spices and beer, stir to combine, then add cabbage.
5. Toss cabbage with other ingredients, cook until cabbage is wilted (stir every few minutes). Add pork to pan.
6. Cover and bake at 350 for 1.5 hours, or until pork is tender (original recipe says 2 hours, but ours cooked much more quickly!) - use meat thermometer. Slice the meat and let juices seep through. Serve and enjoy!

Summer Lunch Recipes

Nothing says summer like chicken pesto sandwiches, fruit salad, bbq onion rings, and delicious fruit popsicles (with wonderful friends, of course!). We made these dishes when Amy and Liz dropped by for a yummy summer lunch to catch up before Amy moves to Boston. SO DELICIOUS!


Caprice Cherry Tomatos
modified from Cooking Light Magazine

1 pint cherry tomatos, halfed
fresh mozarella cheese, cut into 1/8" strips, then sliced to width of tomato
fresh basil, tough part of leaves removed, cut into 1/8" by 1.5" strips
kosher salt, to taste
pepper, to taste
toothpicks

Lightly salt and pepper mozarella slices. Assemble on toothpick in following order, to make a "sandwich" out of the cherry tomato: (1) bottom half of tomato, (2) basil, folded over, (3) mozarella, (4) top half of tomato. Serve immediately.


Homemade Walnut Pesto
modified from Cooking Light cookbook

4 T chopped walnuts
2 T minced garlic
3 T EVOO
4 C fresh basil leaves, stems removed
1/4 C parmesean cheese (grated)
1/4 t kosher salt

Drop nuts and garlic through food processor chute with machine turned on. Add oil and pulse. Add remaining ingredients, scraping bowl as needed.


Pesto Pecan Chicken Salad
recipe makes enough for 5 or 6 sandwiches

1/3 c prepared pesto
1/3 c plain lowfat yogurt
1/3 c light mayo
1 c toasted pecans, finely chopped
1.5 T lemon juice
4 c cubed BLSL chicken breast (added S&P and baked at 350 for 35 minutes)
1/3 c roasted red bell peppers, drained and sliced(a few slices per person)
whole wheat 100 calorie sandwich bread rounds

Combine pesto, yogurt, mayo, pecans, lemon juice, and chicken; refrigerate until ready to serve. Lightly toast bread, add chicken salad, and top with several slices roasted red peppers.


Baked BBQ Onion Rings
modified from Cooking Light cookbook

3 T flour
1 T sugar
1 t chili powder
1 t cumin
1/2 t salt
1/2 t paprika
2 large eggs, beaten
2 medium onions, sliced to 1/4" thickness, and separated into rings
1.5 c breadcrumbs.

1. Preheat oven to 450. Place two cookie sheets in oven to preheat.
2. Combine first seven ingredients in bowl, whisk thoroughly.
3. Place 3/4 c breadcrumbs in gallon ziplock bag. Dunk a third of the rings in the flour mixture, then add to bag. Toss to coat. Repeat with remaining rings and breadcrumbs.
4. Place in single layer on 2 preheated baking sheets coated with PAM. Add rings in single layer, and bake for 5 minutes on each side. Serve immediately.


Zoku Cantaloupe Popsicles

Ingredients:
1/2 cantaloupe, cubed
2 T fat free vanilla coffee creamer
1 T brown sugar

Blend ingredients in Magic Bullet, pour into molds. Makes 5 popsicles. Enjoy!

back a married woman :)

It's finally time to return to the blog -- married, happy, and so excited for these last few lazy summer weeks.

This summer has flown by -- but we've absolutely loved every second. I think we're getting far enough removed from the wedding that I'm wishing we could go back and do it all over, but lately I've been enjoying the lack of guest lists to write, bows to sew, favors to make...

... particularly when I have this wonderful husband to spend my time with.

We've really been enjoying married life (despite what we'll probably tell you if you ask how "married life is treating us" -- our answers are getting more creative each time we hear that question). We're slowly getting into our routine around the homestead, and as work picks up for both of us, we'll adjust to that routine, too. Molly and Cory are getting creepily used to each other (they're napping together as I write this -- peas in a pod), to the point that I'm generally considered a third wheel around here. Who would have thought a good ole' country boy and a "boston terrier" would make such a good pair?

I'm enjoying the post-wedding return to work, too. With fewer impending details swirling through my mind, I feel like I have my sanity back! I've been so much more productive, and I feel like I've learned a lot. I'm teaching myself some fun stat techniques (yeah, I said it - FUN) that merge hierarchal linear growth curve modeling with typical regression. Basically, we can see how individual trajectories of behaviors (such as social responses) predict later emergence of autism symptoms, versus just looking at cross sectional samples or strict repeated measures designs.

I'm starting to fall in love with data analysis -- to the extent that I've been debating trying to cram more stat classes into our already insane school psych schedules. It's just so liberating to have a research question and be able to actually answer it. In one work day, I can learn something remarkable about precursors to autism. It's an empowering, beautiful feeling. Combined with my perfectionistic personality (I'm owning it these days), I have trouble handing my questions over to someone else to analyze. So much gets lost in translation. So hey -- learn it yourself, right?

So work is wonderful, home is wonderful.. life in general is pretty great. Co and I are so similar to how we were before, but it's so different at the same time. We've been growing towards each other for so long, but now we're growing in the same direction -- together. We laugh more than we ever have before -- and even on grumpy days, I have more fun with him than I would alone. It's so right.

We've also been LOVING the chance to make dinner together (and put all these fun kitchen gadgets to use) or for whoever else happens to be around. People drive through Cola a lot -- which I LOVE -- so it's so much fun to entertain and catch up with old (and new!) friends. I've decided to document some of my favorite memories (and the recipes that go along with them) here so that others can enjoy them, too. Each week, we buy whatever meats and veggies are on special, then we seek out yummy recipes to put to use. Lots of successes so far - get excited!

a little teaser

Our invitations are almost done!! Mom has been working soooo hard calligraphing everything, and they've turned out BEAUTIFULLY! The paper is a gorgeous ecru color with navy thermography, and our little bow emblem from the save the dates is printed on a "squircle" (the name my cohort came up with for the shape.. which I lamented about for a solid afternoon), which tops a sweet little aqua silk ribbon. Mom wrote everything for the printer, which makes it SO extra special!!