Being home is always an adventure. With six of us and the dog (and sometimes the MIA cat) in the house, there's always something ridiculous going on. Nevermind the fact that we're all a little crazy... oh, home.
The trip back was really really good... I absolutely love long car rides, and I had stupidly packed my ipod... so it was me and whatever CDs were in the mixer thing and the four hour ride home. I got to catch up with some of my girls on the phone, but most of it was spent thinking and praying and singing. It was nice.
You know that rock-sand analogy deal thing? I couldn't help but think about it in relation to packing my life into my car.... you focus on the big things, then you stuff everything else in around the edges. The funny part is, the little things make up the vast majority of my life -- little daily interractions and such. The big things take long-term planning and such to get through, but the little things are like daily "quizzes" to see where I am -- how my patience is, where my heart is, so on and so forth. It's easy to let the importance of those things literally slip through the cracks.
I also thought a lot about some stuff that Jessie and I talked about -- a lot has happened this year, and in the process I kind of closed up a lot... I don't trust people a whole lot, but I try to. So I enter into friendships and relationships hesitantly, and once I start to open up I freak out and shut down. I think it's a normal thing to do -- probably a lot more healthy than wearing my heart on my sleeve...
So anyways, that was the car ride home. Once I was home, the madness just kind of kicked in. Mom is in a constant loopy state becuase she had surgery done (she has to sleep sitting up), so she's stuck in the house (and can't do her ridiculously long runs) with the dog... and her imagination... she's convinced that dad secretly knows he's getting transferred and isn't telling her so she doesn't lose her mind. Mom is always filled with hypotheses and plans... she's trying to convince dad to open a tea bar in Mt. Pleasant. My father would fall over dead rather than open a tea bar in Mt. Pleasant.
Dad is just as dad-esque as always... we're a lot alike so we just kind of sit there and listen to mom and give each other glances here and there. She insists she's not on pain meds right now, but we're convinced she's blatantly lying.
"Are you sure you don't want to see my new bellybutton?"
-"Yes, mom. I'm sure."
"It's so good to have you home, Bridgette."
-"It's good to be home!"
"No it isn't. You're lying. Every family has it quirks, we're just quirkier than the rest."
"Oh no! Where's Wilson!?"
-"What's Wilson?"
"It's my drip tank for my surgery thing.. it drains into this thing and it reminds me of that movie where Tom Hanks is stuck on a raft with a volleyball and he names it Wilson and then he loses Wilson and thinks he's losing his mind..."
-"Right..."
"Oh! Phew! I found Wilson." (it's attached to her)
-"That's good, Mom."
The boys are crazy as always... the two older ones are taking exams, so Eric had his girlfriend over and they were studying together. Pat actually cracked a book, which is new for him. I think he realized that if he failed English he wouldn't graduate and then he couldn't move out.
Nolan is still growing... and growing... and growing. All three of my brothers wear size 14 shoes... Nolan is 14-W... he's almost as tall as me now. And he's only 12. It's insane.
Boomer is still spoiled rotten. We unloaded my car and somehow he got stuck in the middle of all of my stuff and couldn't find a way out, so that was a little entertaining. Some black men came to fix a window today, and the dog is ridiculously racist, so I had to go out on the porch, pick him up, and carry him to his crate. It was like dealing with a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.
"Mom, can I get my haircut tomorrow?"
--"Well, I was kind of hoping you'd take Boomer to his hair appointment."
"Boomer has a hair appointment?"
--"Yes, grooming and a special shampoo because he itches."
"Itches?"
--"Yes, I think he's allergic to grass. I'm trying to convince your father to get him this neat little contraption that has a sling in it so he can sit about two inches above the grass."
"You're getting the dog a hammock?"
--"He's allergic to grass, Bridgette. His appointment is at two."
... so hopefully I will get my hair cut, too? :)
Had an amazing coffee date last night with Cait and Kyle... I love Caitlyn... we never get to see each other but when we do it's so amazing. Good chat, good times.
So yes, home is fantastic. Sat down last night with a big glass of wine and sat on the comfiest couch in the world... it's my little I-made-it-through-another-term tradition.
Alright, so I'm off to hang out with mother for a bit. :)
Thursday, May 31, 2007
my mother's finest comments
about her suspicions that dad is going to sell the house behind her back (because he suggested new carpet):
"I'm going to be that crazy lady who waits until dad leaves and then I'm going to go outside and take the sign out of the yard and hide it in my 'special place' with a lockbox and sit inside and not answer the phone all day..."
about her "hernia surgery:"
"...and they made me a new bellybutton! Now, aren't you jealous of my boobs? It's all Eric's fault... he nursed them into their condition and I finally get them back!"
about Pat's claim that he's becomming Buddhist:
"Oh, yes! My yoga instructors are all Buddhists."
(me, kidding): "Well that's no good."
"Oh, it's okay. They're not too crazy about it. I mean, there's some chanting and stuff, but they're not trying to convert me."
--"That's nice, mom."
On Mother's Day:
"..and your father leaned over at 5am and said, 'Happy Mother's Day! I'm going on the boat.' ...and so he went fishing. I should write a book, but I can't really write."
"I'm going to be that crazy lady who waits until dad leaves and then I'm going to go outside and take the sign out of the yard and hide it in my 'special place' with a lockbox and sit inside and not answer the phone all day..."
about her "hernia surgery:"
"...and they made me a new bellybutton! Now, aren't you jealous of my boobs? It's all Eric's fault... he nursed them into their condition and I finally get them back!"
about Pat's claim that he's becomming Buddhist:
"Oh, yes! My yoga instructors are all Buddhists."
(me, kidding): "Well that's no good."
"Oh, it's okay. They're not too crazy about it. I mean, there's some chanting and stuff, but they're not trying to convert me."
--"That's nice, mom."
On Mother's Day:
"..and your father leaned over at 5am and said, 'Happy Mother's Day! I'm going on the boat.' ...and so he went fishing. I should write a book, but I can't really write."
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
last post at Furman...
If I didn't believe in miracles before, I do now.
All of my stuff is actually going to fit in the car (I think).
Granted, the storage unit probably helped a little bit.. but yes, it's goin' in. I'm so excited. I don't know... moving out is kind of fun. First of all, it's a work out. The Tri-Delt hall is the only place on campus where you have to use four flights of stairs to get your stuff in and out (we have no elevator)... so you actually feel like you're being super productive. And spending the last few hours with my sisters... especially Ann... makes it even better.
Secondly, it's theraputic. I'm cleaning out my heart while I clean out my room, if that makes sense. This year has been an absolute whirlwind... at times it felt like hell, but the blissful parts made up for it. I'd do it ten thousand times over... but alas, it's time to keep chugging.
Sooooo alas: fare-thee-well, Geer 315. May your next year be filled with just as many dance parties, prayers, and laughter as this one... and preferably a few less tears, stress-induced diseases, and duckling violations. :)
All of my stuff is actually going to fit in the car (I think).
Granted, the storage unit probably helped a little bit.. but yes, it's goin' in. I'm so excited. I don't know... moving out is kind of fun. First of all, it's a work out. The Tri-Delt hall is the only place on campus where you have to use four flights of stairs to get your stuff in and out (we have no elevator)... so you actually feel like you're being super productive. And spending the last few hours with my sisters... especially Ann... makes it even better.
Secondly, it's theraputic. I'm cleaning out my heart while I clean out my room, if that makes sense. This year has been an absolute whirlwind... at times it felt like hell, but the blissful parts made up for it. I'd do it ten thousand times over... but alas, it's time to keep chugging.
Sooooo alas: fare-thee-well, Geer 315. May your next year be filled with just as many dance parties, prayers, and laughter as this one... and preferably a few less tears, stress-induced diseases, and duckling violations. :)
phew...
So I put up a post earlier but I deleted it because life changed far too quickly. Because my belief in God outweighs my belief in irony, I'm going to humor the Lord and give Him the point for today. *ding* . Round 2 complete.
Packing is daunting. My little car is not going to fit all of this stuff. My dad said that I should just take everything out of the bins and literally dump it into the car so that it fills up more closely. I think he's nuts... but the point is it WILL all fit. And I'm going to the storage unit with Ann in like 3 hours to see if there's room there for a few things.
Tonight was amazing... Monterreys and margarita date with the roommates was the perfect start. I don't know, I went into "Bridgette land" while we were sitting there, and I kept thinking about how different we all are -- it's fantastic. Our faiths, our families, our hometowns, our backgrounds -- we balance each other out like nothing else. I think that's something I've realized a lot this year -- my friends in high school were just like me, but my friends now are so different. We're not talking political party different, either... we genuinely differ in lifestyles, backgrounds, morality, faith. The difference is, though, that we appreciate those differences more than I think I ever did with my friends in high school. Better yet, I've learened to appreciate the little differences in my high school friends, too. Better late than never.
Kind of an interesting night after that -- went out to the Manor for the "last huzzah" after exams... soooo much fun. Lots of goofy dancing, Queen-singing, and puppy cuddling. No, really. There's a little baby chocolate lab puppy at the Manor ... sweetest dog I've ever met. She was super sleepy so she napped on the couch, and I got super sleepy so I curled up with her.. and she put her schnoz on my arm and curled up. I got to ride in a car with her, too -- and she came right up to me and curled up in my lap.
Only at the Manor can I take a nap with a puppy in the middle of a party :).
So my big thing tonight.. I read through my other blog (the now-private one from winter term onward) and I read a few posts that sounded awfully familiar to situations that I'm still in now. And my goals are the same and my frustrations are the same.... Now, with most things I have grown a whole lot this year. BUT I could have written some of those posts yesterday. While my outlooks on these situations have changed, my basic instinctual response is the same. WHY?
I know that old habits die hard, but shouldn't God make virtue a bit easier to attain? :)
Some quotes to explain my thoughts today:
"The good Lord will give you grace and his Holy Spirit and He will bless your humility; but I wish you would learn to love the cross with all your heart, in whatever form or manner it comes."
Blessed Maria Teresa of St. Joseph
"One must pass through the desert and spend some time there in order to receive the grace of God; it is there that one empties oneself, that one drives away from oneself everything which is not God and that one empties completely the house of one's soul in order to leave all of it to God alone."
Blessed Charles de Foucald
"It doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. and how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. and you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little peices of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."
-Iris, The Holiday
Last night in a dorm ever!!!! GOODNIGHT!
Packing is daunting. My little car is not going to fit all of this stuff. My dad said that I should just take everything out of the bins and literally dump it into the car so that it fills up more closely. I think he's nuts... but the point is it WILL all fit. And I'm going to the storage unit with Ann in like 3 hours to see if there's room there for a few things.
Tonight was amazing... Monterreys and margarita date with the roommates was the perfect start. I don't know, I went into "Bridgette land" while we were sitting there, and I kept thinking about how different we all are -- it's fantastic. Our faiths, our families, our hometowns, our backgrounds -- we balance each other out like nothing else. I think that's something I've realized a lot this year -- my friends in high school were just like me, but my friends now are so different. We're not talking political party different, either... we genuinely differ in lifestyles, backgrounds, morality, faith. The difference is, though, that we appreciate those differences more than I think I ever did with my friends in high school. Better yet, I've learened to appreciate the little differences in my high school friends, too. Better late than never.
Kind of an interesting night after that -- went out to the Manor for the "last huzzah" after exams... soooo much fun. Lots of goofy dancing, Queen-singing, and puppy cuddling. No, really. There's a little baby chocolate lab puppy at the Manor ... sweetest dog I've ever met. She was super sleepy so she napped on the couch, and I got super sleepy so I curled up with her.. and she put her schnoz on my arm and curled up. I got to ride in a car with her, too -- and she came right up to me and curled up in my lap.
Only at the Manor can I take a nap with a puppy in the middle of a party :).
So my big thing tonight.. I read through my other blog (the now-private one from winter term onward) and I read a few posts that sounded awfully familiar to situations that I'm still in now. And my goals are the same and my frustrations are the same.... Now, with most things I have grown a whole lot this year. BUT I could have written some of those posts yesterday. While my outlooks on these situations have changed, my basic instinctual response is the same. WHY?
I know that old habits die hard, but shouldn't God make virtue a bit easier to attain? :)
Some quotes to explain my thoughts today:
"The good Lord will give you grace and his Holy Spirit and He will bless your humility; but I wish you would learn to love the cross with all your heart, in whatever form or manner it comes."
Blessed Maria Teresa of St. Joseph
"One must pass through the desert and spend some time there in order to receive the grace of God; it is there that one empties oneself, that one drives away from oneself everything which is not God and that one empties completely the house of one's soul in order to leave all of it to God alone."
Blessed Charles de Foucald
"It doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. and how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. and you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little peices of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."
-Iris, The Holiday
Last night in a dorm ever!!!! GOODNIGHT!
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
sardines and alcohol
So I am FINALLY done with my sophomore year of college!!! AND I got 3 great grades back today. AND I think I destroyed my two exams. yay!!
A few updates from yesterday:
1. It's amazing what a short conversation with an old friend can do... I wasn't super stressed about my work, but I was definately glazed over by dinnertime... and I bumped into a friend and we started talking about life and... I don't know. Again, something subtle changed in my heart. My new goal in life is kindness :). Something about talking about the past and mutual friends -- those old time friendships are rich. I don't know how to describe it really. :)
2. Alcohol + Library + Sardines = Chaos
Soooo some of my friends were having a party because they (unlike me) were done with their exams... but they decided that it would be fun to come visit those of us who weren't done. SO at about 1am, 10 of my drunk friends stumbled into the libary and proceeded to play sardines. In study rooms and stacks. Insanity is an understatement.
3. I need summer. I can only stay in one place for so long these days... and I'm just really excited about getting to know people and having some other-centered challenges in my life. It's time :)
Okay, on to packing and laundry and the last hoorah!!! :)
A few updates from yesterday:
1. It's amazing what a short conversation with an old friend can do... I wasn't super stressed about my work, but I was definately glazed over by dinnertime... and I bumped into a friend and we started talking about life and... I don't know. Again, something subtle changed in my heart. My new goal in life is kindness :). Something about talking about the past and mutual friends -- those old time friendships are rich. I don't know how to describe it really. :)
2. Alcohol + Library + Sardines = Chaos
Soooo some of my friends were having a party because they (unlike me) were done with their exams... but they decided that it would be fun to come visit those of us who weren't done. SO at about 1am, 10 of my drunk friends stumbled into the libary and proceeded to play sardines. In study rooms and stacks. Insanity is an understatement.
3. I need summer. I can only stay in one place for so long these days... and I'm just really excited about getting to know people and having some other-centered challenges in my life. It's time :)
Okay, on to packing and laundry and the last hoorah!!! :)
Monday, May 28, 2007
whee!
Exam #1. Done. :) AND I was able to use that non-coherent blog post as the basis of half the exam. Ha.
Now to sell my soul to Human Development. Goodbye, Augustine.
Now to sell my soul to Human Development. Goodbye, Augustine.
how bout that Augustine..
So, while studying tonight I came up with a list of things I wanted to think about but didn't really have time to while trying to get through Augustine's major works. And rather than just think, I decided to write. Rather than write, I decided to post. So this whole spiel is really part of my final studying, I just want to hang on to these thoughts so I can come back to them later.
First of all... I had never before understood so deeply why the Incarnation is the celebration of the "Word made flesh"... but Augustine talks about carnal slavery in "On Christian Teaching" and WOW... it makes so much sense. He certainly has a way with words.
Basically, he discusses carnal slavery as the worship of the object rather than what the object represents. My classmates brought up the Eucharist as an example of carnal slavery, but Augustine argues the exact opposite: through Transubstantiation, God FREES us from carnal slavery. He gives us the Tangible so that we can more closely comprehend the Untangible.
After the fall, humanity has to rely on reason in order to worship God -- we must strive to keep our souls and body in proper order by dominating our physical desires with spiritual strength. In the Eucharist, God provides us with a relief from this struggle -- He appeals to our senses to draw us closer to Him.
The Eucharist, then, is an instance of freedom from carnal slavery.
The second part of his argument is truly amazing, though -- Augustine is big on "nothing is Good if it can be better" (On True Religion) ... and he spends a whole lotta pages specifying over and over that words are less True than thoughts because they are limited by language. Our minds are the closest we will come to God, since our bodies were created out of nothingness.
Yet Jesus is Truth because Jesus is God. Therefore.... Christ as the Word made Flesh in the Incarnation is freedom from the limitations placed on us by the fall... the limitations that keep us from personally experiencing God. He truly is the New Adam. He overturns carnal slavery in the Incarnation and yet again in the Eucharist.
Maybe this is just one of those personal Eureka moments that will only really make sense to me. Augustine puts it so much better.
Okay, so another thing that was really cool to me -- the sacramentality of our bodies. Augustine is big on the difference between "use" and "enjoyment"... he claims that we must only enjoy the Eternal (God, Heaven, virtue, etc...) and use the earthly (food, sex, recreation) in order to get to the Eternal. So, for instance, birth control disables a couple from using sex to reach the Eternal -- rather it becomes an act of misdirected enjoyment. If we enjoy the things of earth, we become bound to the things of earth. Lots of examples of that.
Anyways, Augustine claims that we must use each other... not enjoy each other. He doesn't mean "use" in the sense that we use it today... no backtalking or mooching involved. Simply, Augustine believed that we are all tools to bring each other to God. Even spouses are called to use each other and their children to bring each other closer to Eternity. I totally agree.
The cool thing, though, is that a sacrament is an "outward sign" of something unseen ("inward grace," perhaps?) sooooo by allowing ourselves to be used as vehicles towards Eternity, we become sacramental beings in and of ourselves. Add on top of that the fact that we are Tabernacles, carriers of Christ. Talk about the dignity of life... we are outward signs of Him for each other!
I sound like a nutcase. I just find this all so cool!
In fact... I got really nerdy while taking notes and studying, and I actually realized I was adding exclamation marks after things that made me really excited. Subconscioulsy. It was pretty sweet.
Another random thought? Eventually, we will no longer need faith. Faith doesn't exist once we are fully in the presence of God, because it is completely united with our wills. And Augustine claims that the will is part of the trinity of knowledge and understanding. When will/love, knowledge, and understanding are all perfectly balanced, we have an image of the Trinity.
Yet self-knowledge is the greatest image of the Trinity, because it is certain that a mind exists when it knows it exists... by virtue of self-knowledge, it is. Same goes with the Trinity... by virtue of the realtionship between the persons, it is.
Okay, I really need to stop and go to bed so I can make sense tomorrow when I take this final. Clearly, I don't make sense yet :)
First of all... I had never before understood so deeply why the Incarnation is the celebration of the "Word made flesh"... but Augustine talks about carnal slavery in "On Christian Teaching" and WOW... it makes so much sense. He certainly has a way with words.
Basically, he discusses carnal slavery as the worship of the object rather than what the object represents. My classmates brought up the Eucharist as an example of carnal slavery, but Augustine argues the exact opposite: through Transubstantiation, God FREES us from carnal slavery. He gives us the Tangible so that we can more closely comprehend the Untangible.
After the fall, humanity has to rely on reason in order to worship God -- we must strive to keep our souls and body in proper order by dominating our physical desires with spiritual strength. In the Eucharist, God provides us with a relief from this struggle -- He appeals to our senses to draw us closer to Him.
The Eucharist, then, is an instance of freedom from carnal slavery.
The second part of his argument is truly amazing, though -- Augustine is big on "nothing is Good if it can be better" (On True Religion) ... and he spends a whole lotta pages specifying over and over that words are less True than thoughts because they are limited by language. Our minds are the closest we will come to God, since our bodies were created out of nothingness.
Yet Jesus is Truth because Jesus is God. Therefore.... Christ as the Word made Flesh in the Incarnation is freedom from the limitations placed on us by the fall... the limitations that keep us from personally experiencing God. He truly is the New Adam. He overturns carnal slavery in the Incarnation and yet again in the Eucharist.
Maybe this is just one of those personal Eureka moments that will only really make sense to me. Augustine puts it so much better.
Okay, so another thing that was really cool to me -- the sacramentality of our bodies. Augustine is big on the difference between "use" and "enjoyment"... he claims that we must only enjoy the Eternal (God, Heaven, virtue, etc...) and use the earthly (food, sex, recreation) in order to get to the Eternal. So, for instance, birth control disables a couple from using sex to reach the Eternal -- rather it becomes an act of misdirected enjoyment. If we enjoy the things of earth, we become bound to the things of earth. Lots of examples of that.
Anyways, Augustine claims that we must use each other... not enjoy each other. He doesn't mean "use" in the sense that we use it today... no backtalking or mooching involved. Simply, Augustine believed that we are all tools to bring each other to God. Even spouses are called to use each other and their children to bring each other closer to Eternity. I totally agree.
The cool thing, though, is that a sacrament is an "outward sign" of something unseen ("inward grace," perhaps?) sooooo by allowing ourselves to be used as vehicles towards Eternity, we become sacramental beings in and of ourselves. Add on top of that the fact that we are Tabernacles, carriers of Christ. Talk about the dignity of life... we are outward signs of Him for each other!
I sound like a nutcase. I just find this all so cool!
In fact... I got really nerdy while taking notes and studying, and I actually realized I was adding exclamation marks after things that made me really excited. Subconscioulsy. It was pretty sweet.
Another random thought? Eventually, we will no longer need faith. Faith doesn't exist once we are fully in the presence of God, because it is completely united with our wills. And Augustine claims that the will is part of the trinity of knowledge and understanding. When will/love, knowledge, and understanding are all perfectly balanced, we have an image of the Trinity.
Yet self-knowledge is the greatest image of the Trinity, because it is certain that a mind exists when it knows it exists... by virtue of self-knowledge, it is. Same goes with the Trinity... by virtue of the realtionship between the persons, it is.
Okay, I really need to stop and go to bed so I can make sense tomorrow when I take this final. Clearly, I don't make sense yet :)
Sunday, May 27, 2007
my story
"I tell my story for love of Your love."
-St. Augustine, of his Confessions
As I study for this exam (which, might I say, is ridiculous to study for -- mastering all of Augustine's major works? ehem.), I keep thinking. And thinking. And thinking. It's like one big day of prayer, just trying to understand what made him tick. I'm being graded on getting inside Augustine's head.
It's kind of why I started blogging this Christmas -- a big part of it was that journaling helps clear and sort my thoughts, another was to document my life, but a third was that I wanted to share my experiences so that others could learn from them, too... but to erase all of that and simply "tell my story for love of Your love"... how humbling. What motivation to make that story -- that life -- more beautiful! :)
-St. Augustine, of his Confessions
As I study for this exam (which, might I say, is ridiculous to study for -- mastering all of Augustine's major works? ehem.), I keep thinking. And thinking. And thinking. It's like one big day of prayer, just trying to understand what made him tick. I'm being graded on getting inside Augustine's head.Anyways, the opening quote reminded me of something Sr. Rebecca was talking about yesterday -- the sisters at St. Cecelias are incredible singers, and Rebecca tends to doubt her own signing abilities, to put it mildly. I've never heard her sing, I'm sure she's fantastic, but she begs to differ. Anyways -- she was describing how laborious it was to miss recreation time to practice the hymns over and over and over... and how she went to her superior and even told her that it was no use. She said, though, that after awhile she began to notice something about the sister conducting the choir -- the work and effort she put into making the song beautiful was simply and totally for the glory of God. She wanted the music to be more beautiful so that it would reflect God's beauty more. It made it all worth it. 
If only I had that same attitude about life -- put more effort in to make it more beautiful for God. I get so bogged down with making myself presentable, getting grades for grad school, trying to do 6000 things at once... if only I could slow down and make it all good for the simple Goodness of God. Maybe that will be my goal this summer... to pull an Augustine and do my work "for the love of Your love."
It's kind of why I started blogging this Christmas -- a big part of it was that journaling helps clear and sort my thoughts, another was to document my life, but a third was that I wanted to share my experiences so that others could learn from them, too... but to erase all of that and simply "tell my story for love of Your love"... how humbling. What motivation to make that story -- that life -- more beautiful! :)The top picture is of Sr. Maris Stella -- a dear friend of mine from high school... the day she made her first vows. She's such an amazing girl -- and Sr. Rebecca says she's absolutely thriving at St. Cecelias. We all knew she would. :)
The second picture is Sr. Rebecca (on the left)... also amazing, beautiful, fun, smart... and now a bride of Christ :) The third picture is her right after receiving her postulant garb (pre-habit attire).
So why is it that I keep procrastinating with nun stories? Study, Bridgette... "for the love of God!" (ha. sorry. couldn't resist.)
Saturday, May 26, 2007
insanity
Today was a little bit insane. Then again, any day including a nun party is going to be a little insane.
Yep, nun party.
So Sr. Rebecca came home for her postulant home visit... and she is beautiful as ever. Absolutely glowing, totally happy -- she's more herself now than ever. I think that's a sign of a good vocational match, no?
Flipping through albums of her entry was emotional... especially "before and after" pics of her literally walking into the convent in a white skirt, orange shirt, and flip flops... then in her black and white pilgrim-esque postulant garb. Sr. Maris Stella told a funny story about sitting on a plane in her postulant outfit and a guy making a pilgrim comment. Oh, KTV.
One of the girls who helped out at my youth group, Jennifer, married another guy that worked with us, Joe. And Jennifer and Joe were both there.. but Jennifer was pregnant. PREGNANT. Talk about sensory overload... it was absolutlely insane. Like... she looks so different. She's a mom. He's a dad. Rebecca's a nun.
Eep!?!
It's amazing how much can change in a year. It doesn't take long for a life to get turned around or upside down or this way or that way... when we let Him, God can really get us through a lot of adventures.
Kind of makes me wonder where I'll be in a year. I doubt I'll be a nun or pregnant lol... but I never thought I'd be where I am now a year ago. I wish I had done a few things differently, though -- I really do. But hey... that's what the next year is for, right?
Ooh... strange connection though. Was at a friend's apartment last night (only sober one there I think -- three cheers for me!) and they asked why I was leaving and I said it was because I had a nun party to go to and the guy I was talking to was like "oh, I know a girl who was becomming a nun in high school" and turns out it was my friend who joined a few years ago! And he was friends with Joe (whose having the baby)'s sister... and Rebecca might have been there when he was. So totally bizarre.
Bizarre coincidence #2... Sr. Rebecca's mom is a special ed teacher and she said she always sends kids to Spearhead.. she even takes kids there if they don't have families to drive them. So I think we're going to keep in touch ;).. she may come to visit this summer!!
What a day...
Yep, nun party.
So Sr. Rebecca came home for her postulant home visit... and she is beautiful as ever. Absolutely glowing, totally happy -- she's more herself now than ever. I think that's a sign of a good vocational match, no?
Flipping through albums of her entry was emotional... especially "before and after" pics of her literally walking into the convent in a white skirt, orange shirt, and flip flops... then in her black and white pilgrim-esque postulant garb. Sr. Maris Stella told a funny story about sitting on a plane in her postulant outfit and a guy making a pilgrim comment. Oh, KTV.
One of the girls who helped out at my youth group, Jennifer, married another guy that worked with us, Joe. And Jennifer and Joe were both there.. but Jennifer was pregnant. PREGNANT. Talk about sensory overload... it was absolutlely insane. Like... she looks so different. She's a mom. He's a dad. Rebecca's a nun.
Eep!?!
It's amazing how much can change in a year. It doesn't take long for a life to get turned around or upside down or this way or that way... when we let Him, God can really get us through a lot of adventures.
Kind of makes me wonder where I'll be in a year. I doubt I'll be a nun or pregnant lol... but I never thought I'd be where I am now a year ago. I wish I had done a few things differently, though -- I really do. But hey... that's what the next year is for, right?
Ooh... strange connection though. Was at a friend's apartment last night (only sober one there I think -- three cheers for me!) and they asked why I was leaving and I said it was because I had a nun party to go to and the guy I was talking to was like "oh, I know a girl who was becomming a nun in high school" and turns out it was my friend who joined a few years ago! And he was friends with Joe (whose having the baby)'s sister... and Rebecca might have been there when he was. So totally bizarre.
Bizarre coincidence #2... Sr. Rebecca's mom is a special ed teacher and she said she always sends kids to Spearhead.. she even takes kids there if they don't have families to drive them. So I think we're going to keep in touch ;).. she may come to visit this summer!!
What a day...
Friday, May 25, 2007
oh no...
So today would probably be the worst day I could come down with a stomach virus...
and I did.
I don't understand. I've been sick more times this year than ever before, but my lifestyle is a lot more healthy than it ever has been. Obnoxious, right? And it's not the ::coughcough-i-think-i-have-a-cold:: sick... its 2 months of mono, crazy fevers, and now a stomach virus. During exams. Sweet.
It's my last chance to go out and play with the seniors, friends are coming in town tomorrow, it's Sr. Rebecca's coming home party, I have to pack, and -- oh yeah -- I have to have mastered the vast majority of Augustine's works by Monday and the entity of Human Development by Tuesday. I don't have time to be sick!!!
I'm hoping it was just the stress of today, but apparently there's something going around. I started feeling yucky yesterday morning -- I though I had had something funny the night before -- and today I've just felt insane. I had to drive my roommate to the airport, then we got there too late for her to check a bag so I had to turn around and go back, and by the time I got there she had to take another flight becuase they wouldn't let her leave a bag unattended.. so I was in the car for 2-ish hours... I think the constant movement made it worse.
And I was all excited about going to visit Jesus in Adoration this afternoon, and I could only stay for a decade of the Rosary before I felt sick again. Like -- I'll be fine for 10 minutes, then death kicks in. Bah!
... and a four hour nap didn't help at all.
Sorry for all the whining... I guess after this whole year is said and done, I was hoping to go out gracefully :) Instead, God is pointing and laughing at me again. It's so different being sick at college, too -- at home you've got mom there by your side to take care of you and make sure you're okay... and last year I was a lot closer to high school friends so we all kind of did that for each other. But now? It's a good lesson about independence. My friends are fantastic, but it's not quite the same as being at home. There's nothing quite the same as being at home.
I talk a lot about how excited I am to not be at home this whole summer, but I really will miss parts of it -- especially my family. It will be good, though.. because in the brief times that I am there, they are the people I will want to be with more than anyone else. I won't have time to selfishly not appreciate them like I have in the past.
There are a few friends I'll really miss spending time with, too. Our crew from high school, on the whole, has all stayed freakishly close throughout the college transition. The dynamics have changed a whole lot, but so have the people. When we all get together it's kind of like we never really left.
On the whole, the closeness can be a good thing... but old habits -- and old flames -- die hard. So with the fun comes the drama, and I'm just not in to that anymore... I've found it's a lot easier just to fade out. The people that matter will sort through the drama and remember you exist. The people who don't matter -- as surprising as they tend to be -- are the people that didn't really care as much as you thought they did. It's a bittersweet process, but I suppose its better done sooner than later. Sometimes it's better to cut your losses and move on with life... as big as those losses may be.
This is a really depressing post. I must think of something to redeem it.
Awww my friend just called me to check in. Okay, it's amazing how much better that made me feel. Can I just say how amazing my sisters are? I could rant about that for years.... :)
Oooh my dreams... okay the ones last night were AWFUL and I don't dare even go there, but the ones during my Friday night nap rampage were... nunny. Of course. The nuns are everywhere.
SO in the dream Sr. Rebecca's party was at the motherhouse, and it was the same time as the vocations retreat I really wanted to go on (Blake affectionately called it "nun camp") but its obviously during exams, so yeah... BUT in the dream I was at the motherhouse and I saw the retreat going on and everyone was leaving after Sr.'s party and suddenly I was at a crime scene trying to save babies from being killed, then I was back at the motherhouse... and I realized I wanted to be a sister.. something about watching "nun camp"... I felt in the dream just like I felt when I left the motherhouse in high school (I cried on the plane, I didn't want to go..), which was really bizarre...
... and I got my papers and I think became a nun.
Disclaimer: If I somehow manage to become a sister before I leave college, I will have a candlelight at chapter. lol.
Okay, I'm going to take more meds and go play for a little while. I can't stay in my last Friday night. I just can't :)
Adios!
and I did.
I don't understand. I've been sick more times this year than ever before, but my lifestyle is a lot more healthy than it ever has been. Obnoxious, right? And it's not the ::coughcough-i-think-i-have-a-cold:: sick... its 2 months of mono, crazy fevers, and now a stomach virus. During exams. Sweet.
It's my last chance to go out and play with the seniors, friends are coming in town tomorrow, it's Sr. Rebecca's coming home party, I have to pack, and -- oh yeah -- I have to have mastered the vast majority of Augustine's works by Monday and the entity of Human Development by Tuesday. I don't have time to be sick!!!
I'm hoping it was just the stress of today, but apparently there's something going around. I started feeling yucky yesterday morning -- I though I had had something funny the night before -- and today I've just felt insane. I had to drive my roommate to the airport, then we got there too late for her to check a bag so I had to turn around and go back, and by the time I got there she had to take another flight becuase they wouldn't let her leave a bag unattended.. so I was in the car for 2-ish hours... I think the constant movement made it worse.
And I was all excited about going to visit Jesus in Adoration this afternoon, and I could only stay for a decade of the Rosary before I felt sick again. Like -- I'll be fine for 10 minutes, then death kicks in. Bah!
... and a four hour nap didn't help at all.
Sorry for all the whining... I guess after this whole year is said and done, I was hoping to go out gracefully :) Instead, God is pointing and laughing at me again. It's so different being sick at college, too -- at home you've got mom there by your side to take care of you and make sure you're okay... and last year I was a lot closer to high school friends so we all kind of did that for each other. But now? It's a good lesson about independence. My friends are fantastic, but it's not quite the same as being at home. There's nothing quite the same as being at home.
I talk a lot about how excited I am to not be at home this whole summer, but I really will miss parts of it -- especially my family. It will be good, though.. because in the brief times that I am there, they are the people I will want to be with more than anyone else. I won't have time to selfishly not appreciate them like I have in the past.
There are a few friends I'll really miss spending time with, too. Our crew from high school, on the whole, has all stayed freakishly close throughout the college transition. The dynamics have changed a whole lot, but so have the people. When we all get together it's kind of like we never really left.
On the whole, the closeness can be a good thing... but old habits -- and old flames -- die hard. So with the fun comes the drama, and I'm just not in to that anymore... I've found it's a lot easier just to fade out. The people that matter will sort through the drama and remember you exist. The people who don't matter -- as surprising as they tend to be -- are the people that didn't really care as much as you thought they did. It's a bittersweet process, but I suppose its better done sooner than later. Sometimes it's better to cut your losses and move on with life... as big as those losses may be.
This is a really depressing post. I must think of something to redeem it.
Awww my friend just called me to check in. Okay, it's amazing how much better that made me feel. Can I just say how amazing my sisters are? I could rant about that for years.... :)
Oooh my dreams... okay the ones last night were AWFUL and I don't dare even go there, but the ones during my Friday night nap rampage were... nunny. Of course. The nuns are everywhere.
SO in the dream Sr. Rebecca's party was at the motherhouse, and it was the same time as the vocations retreat I really wanted to go on (Blake affectionately called it "nun camp") but its obviously during exams, so yeah... BUT in the dream I was at the motherhouse and I saw the retreat going on and everyone was leaving after Sr.'s party and suddenly I was at a crime scene trying to save babies from being killed, then I was back at the motherhouse... and I realized I wanted to be a sister.. something about watching "nun camp"... I felt in the dream just like I felt when I left the motherhouse in high school (I cried on the plane, I didn't want to go..), which was really bizarre...
... and I got my papers and I think became a nun.
Disclaimer: If I somehow manage to become a sister before I leave college, I will have a candlelight at chapter. lol.
Okay, I'm going to take more meds and go play for a little while. I can't stay in my last Friday night. I just can't :)
Adios!
delta rap?
here's the rap the seniors did at formal..
Verse 1 Carrie Beth
I'm the Delta girl that all boys want by their side
In my pearls and matching outfits they all think I'm fly
A Delta should be smart, involved and innocent as a rose
We smile sweetly, flirt discreetly, get engaged, that's how it goes
Look a little deeper and you might just be surprised
'Cause with my wit and charm, I can hypnotize
Soon you'll realize that no Delta is a fake
We're real as you can get, we can do more than just bake
(grabs Caroline's boa)
***Chorus****
When you see us in the PAC we'll be acting real nice
When you see in James Duke, we'll be working all night
We ain't here to judge nobody
Give it to me give it to me give it to me
Deltas roll with everybody
Give it to me give it to me give it to me
Verse 2 Caroline
When a Delta's in the party everybody stops to stare
Shouldn't she be in church right now, dude why is she here?
But don't you worry, 'cause now they can all explain
When a Delta parties, dark delt becomes her name
But wait before you stereotype me for having fun
'Cause we are all unique, even though we're joined as one
Don't separate me from my sisters, you know that isn't fair
Chose Tri-delt for a reason and I too am a team player
(grabs my softball)
Chorus
Verse 3 Me
When it comes to intramurals, you know Tri-Delt's got game
On the field or on the court opponent's tremble at our name
IGU thinks they can beat us but let me just clear the air
Missed them on last year's trophy, damn that's right they wasn't there
In my baseball cap and sneakers I'm as laidback as they come
If you come to me with drama, ha, I'll just think you're dumb
But don't you go and judge me for hangin' with the dudes
'Cause when I get dressed up, I look just as cute as you
(grabs CB's pearls)
Verse 1 Carrie Beth
I'm the Delta girl that all boys want by their side
In my pearls and matching outfits they all think I'm fly
A Delta should be smart, involved and innocent as a rose
We smile sweetly, flirt discreetly, get engaged, that's how it goes
Look a little deeper and you might just be surprised
'Cause with my wit and charm, I can hypnotize
Soon you'll realize that no Delta is a fake
We're real as you can get, we can do more than just bake
(grabs Caroline's boa)
***Chorus****
When you see us in the PAC we'll be acting real nice
When you see in James Duke, we'll be working all night
We ain't here to judge nobody
Give it to me give it to me give it to me
Deltas roll with everybody
Give it to me give it to me give it to me
Verse 2 Caroline
When a Delta's in the party everybody stops to stare
Shouldn't she be in church right now, dude why is she here?
But don't you worry, 'cause now they can all explain
When a Delta parties, dark delt becomes her name
But wait before you stereotype me for having fun
'Cause we are all unique, even though we're joined as one
Don't separate me from my sisters, you know that isn't fair
Chose Tri-delt for a reason and I too am a team player
(grabs my softball)
Chorus
Verse 3 Me
When it comes to intramurals, you know Tri-Delt's got game
On the field or on the court opponent's tremble at our name
IGU thinks they can beat us but let me just clear the air
Missed them on last year's trophy, damn that's right they wasn't there
In my baseball cap and sneakers I'm as laidback as they come
If you come to me with drama, ha, I'll just think you're dumb
But don't you go and judge me for hangin' with the dudes
'Cause when I get dressed up, I look just as cute as you
(grabs CB's pearls)
argh
I had the worst dreams EVER last night.
... and because I'm a two year old, I woke up thinking they were real.
... and I'm still trying to tell myself they're not.
bah.
... and because I'm a two year old, I woke up thinking they were real.
... and I'm still trying to tell myself they're not.
bah.
lots of sudden thoughts
This post marks the out-blogging of my old blog :). No one really knew about that one -- it was my little private place until someone stumbled upon it in Greenville and published it on the National Catholic News Report blog. I suddenly had old ladies "commenting" on my love life and giving me advice. ... went up to 600 hits overnight.
I quickly switched to journaling.
But yes, the old blog is still used.. it's just set to private. It's like my journal :)
Reason I bring it up.. I was looking at my prayer shelf to see what book I wanted to read, and I stumbled upon my journals from the fall and winter of this year (yep -- went through a journal a term. Impressive, right?)... and started flipping through them. Anyways, I think its a good thing to see how I've changed this year, how I've grown. In retrospect, I can see that I've made a lot of good decisions, a lot of silly decisions, but few bad ones. It's kind of like when you teach a dog to swim, you throw it into freezing water and let its instincts kick in.
This year has been my freezing water.
I didn't realize I could support myself, stand up for myself, have pride in myself, be independent, love my family, sing again, write poetry, make new and fantastic friends, break dance, date, wear a backless dress, appreciate the Rosary, laugh, go to frat parties and still be myself, dance when no one is watching, smell the roses, wear a Hooters tank top, befriend my mother, fall in love with the Eucharist all over again...
I couldn't do those things before.
I think that's the cycle of life. We fall in love with falling in love... so much so that we often fall too quickly. Lord, may I always fall head over heels in love with You.
I found this entry from this past Christmastime:
"What is it, Lord, about the heart of a woman -- me, Al, Jessie, Hannah, Caitlyn -- love so easily becomes a cross. We rejoice in romance, but the reality is we commit to the pain that is love. You romance us, Lord, with your gifts of sweet goodness and joy. We delight in a long talk in the moonlight -- you gave us the moonlight. We get flustered by beautiful roses -- You created every petal with Your Glorious Hand. Romance is just the brief glimpses of using your beauty to bring the delightful side of love to others... yet all of those things -- roses, moonlight, sunsets, candles -- are only reflections of Your beauty."
Now I can see how Augustinian my reflections were :) ... my final paper for that class was on his concept of love and chastity, and a big reason Augustine advocated celibacy was that he never wanted to settle for less than the best. "Nothing is good if it can be better." For him, the love within the Holy Trinity... the love that could bind the three Persons of God into One... was the only reasonable goal. Marriage was an image of that love, not the real deal. He swore of theater for the same reason ;)
Seriously, though... the guy has a point. We so often think that the sky is the limit. Funny thing is... it's not. The sky is the limit of our minds, perhaps... but certainly not our hearts. Our hearts were made for God, and He cannot be contained in the sky. Our hearts were made to stretch and grow through hardships and joy.. but the love we experience here is only a shadow of what we will experience in Heaven... "for now we see but in a mirror, and then, face to face."
I found another quote that I had spent a lot of time thinking about... now I understand. Augustine and Picasso probably wouldn't agree on much.. but they would agree on this:
"Art is a lie that tells the truth." -Picasso
Life is one big canvas, huh? :)
Sooooo happy blog-day to me... happy blog-day to me... I've out-blogged myself, happy blog-day to me.
Clearly, I need more sleep. Goodnight!
I quickly switched to journaling.
But yes, the old blog is still used.. it's just set to private. It's like my journal :)
Reason I bring it up.. I was looking at my prayer shelf to see what book I wanted to read, and I stumbled upon my journals from the fall and winter of this year (yep -- went through a journal a term. Impressive, right?)... and started flipping through them. Anyways, I think its a good thing to see how I've changed this year, how I've grown. In retrospect, I can see that I've made a lot of good decisions, a lot of silly decisions, but few bad ones. It's kind of like when you teach a dog to swim, you throw it into freezing water and let its instincts kick in.
This year has been my freezing water.
I didn't realize I could support myself, stand up for myself, have pride in myself, be independent, love my family, sing again, write poetry, make new and fantastic friends, break dance, date, wear a backless dress, appreciate the Rosary, laugh, go to frat parties and still be myself, dance when no one is watching, smell the roses, wear a Hooters tank top, befriend my mother, fall in love with the Eucharist all over again...
I couldn't do those things before.
I think that's the cycle of life. We fall in love with falling in love... so much so that we often fall too quickly. Lord, may I always fall head over heels in love with You.
I found this entry from this past Christmastime:
"What is it, Lord, about the heart of a woman -- me, Al, Jessie, Hannah, Caitlyn -- love so easily becomes a cross. We rejoice in romance, but the reality is we commit to the pain that is love. You romance us, Lord, with your gifts of sweet goodness and joy. We delight in a long talk in the moonlight -- you gave us the moonlight. We get flustered by beautiful roses -- You created every petal with Your Glorious Hand. Romance is just the brief glimpses of using your beauty to bring the delightful side of love to others... yet all of those things -- roses, moonlight, sunsets, candles -- are only reflections of Your beauty."
Now I can see how Augustinian my reflections were :) ... my final paper for that class was on his concept of love and chastity, and a big reason Augustine advocated celibacy was that he never wanted to settle for less than the best. "Nothing is good if it can be better." For him, the love within the Holy Trinity... the love that could bind the three Persons of God into One... was the only reasonable goal. Marriage was an image of that love, not the real deal. He swore of theater for the same reason ;)
Seriously, though... the guy has a point. We so often think that the sky is the limit. Funny thing is... it's not. The sky is the limit of our minds, perhaps... but certainly not our hearts. Our hearts were made for God, and He cannot be contained in the sky. Our hearts were made to stretch and grow through hardships and joy.. but the love we experience here is only a shadow of what we will experience in Heaven... "for now we see but in a mirror, and then, face to face."
I found another quote that I had spent a lot of time thinking about... now I understand. Augustine and Picasso probably wouldn't agree on much.. but they would agree on this:
"Art is a lie that tells the truth." -Picasso
Life is one big canvas, huh? :)
Sooooo happy blog-day to me... happy blog-day to me... I've out-blogged myself, happy blog-day to me.
Clearly, I need more sleep. Goodnight!
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Summer
When the rose garden blooms, you know it's almost summer.The roses today are fantastic... the garden is fully bloomed with colors I don't know that I've ever seen before. Some of the roses were this fantastic peachy pink color... incredible. They were pruning the hot pink ones when we walked by, so I was "that girl" who gathered all of the roses I could find and brought them back to her room. Er... I mean, Fernando did it. We checked mail and Jessie got a box of incredible chocolate covered strawberries. Love is in the air at Furman lol.
Something is changing in my heart this week. I think I'm ADD when it comes to desires... I get distracted from God far too easily, then I bound back to Him with more fervor than before. While cutting back on prayer is never a good thing, returning to Him sure is an incredible feeling.
I was talking to the rooms today about the "whatever-it-is" that just feels different right now, and I think its about 50% independence, 50% adventure. I didn't hold back this term -- I carpe-d the proverbial diem, if you will. I feel like I ran a marathon this year, and I'm still catching my breath. It's exhilerating, but I'm ready for a nap :).
These final days of school should be interesting... my exams arent until Monday and Tuesday, but this weekend will be filled with little opportuities for adventure, so I need to get some studying done today and tomorrow. Saturday is Sr. Rebecca's coming home party, so some of my friends from home will be up here, which will be fun. Sunday I was going to go to a concert, but I'm not sure if that's still on. Regardless, people will be out and about trying to enjoy their last few nights here, so I'm sure there will be plenty distractions from exams.
Tuesday I go home (yay!)... I still haven't figured out if all my stuff will actually fit in my car, though. I have some shelves that I'm pretty sure will give me a hard time. And I think we're leaving Mongo at the Manor until I come back up for camp. Hopefully he'll live... I told some people at lunch that I was afraid he'd end up swimming in vodka, then we all decided that no one would waste vodka on Mongo... and someone mumbled something about how urine is a replenishable resource... so I'm a little worried. Maybe some time with the guys will be good for our immasculated buddy, though... in all of his pink tank glory. At least he's blue?
On a random note... I want a spiritual director. I don't have one. Probably because I don't have a parrish. But the good news is on-campus Mass is being moved to 6:30, which is AWESOME. I might still have to leave a few minutes early to get to OC by 7:40, but it's far better than not getting to go on campus at all. It's no fun just being part of the community on Wednesdays. Hooray!
Okay, so agenda for the day ... dinner, budgeting/ordering/packing for the summer, spiritual reading, coffee, studying... sleep! Ooh, yes. I'm going to sleep tonight. That sounds like fun.
something is changing
above: gorgeous roses from fernando!! ;) .. aka the rose garden
"Brown Penny"
William Butler Yeats
I whispered, ‘I am too young,’
And then, ‘I am old enough’;
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
‘Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.’
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.
O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.
done annnnd done.
I can't believe today was the last day of class.
Mind you, I'm not complaining. Especially after spending the last 48 hours doing papers. I don't remember the last time that I felt so drained from doing school work -- it all got done, though.. praise Jesus!
I turned in the paper at 9:30, showered, laid down for 10 minutes and watched the Wonder Years, then headed off to the final Wednesday is the New Friday of the year... it's crazy to think that so many seniors are graduating. I'm not ready to let them go. They're far too incredible.
The Manor was hoppin' tonight with baby delts, which made me super happy. They're all such classy girls, too -- most of my friends drink, but none of the girls really get drunk. It's good to know that everyone is taking care of each other, too. They're wonderful girls.
The music of the evening leaned towards 90s alternative, which was kind of funny. By the time Mandy and I got there, some of the guys had been partying since 8:30, which made singing along quite interesting. They had a keg and a gin bucket.. which was a new concept for me. I don't think I'll ever understand why a turkey baster is more efficient than a ladel. Hopefully it was a new baster... the idea of drinking gin out of something that has been... yeah, okay, I'm done.
Gave Blake my dollar for the Hooters bet. Glad that's done :)
Yeah no but seriously... I feel like I've finally gotten to know these amazing seniors, and now they're all leaving. I think at one point I told Pete we could make babies I was so sad to see him go. And I don't know what I'm going to do without Tyner. Thankfully she and CB will both still be in G'Vegas next fall.
Okay, bed time. I think I smell like a frat house, but I could really care less. It's been the longest day eeeeever... 24 hours ago I was giving up on the 12 page paper I ended up cranking out this afternoon. I actually slept in Einsteins today for over an hour -- I just passed out on one of the couches and woke up when a tour group was going by.
.."and to our left we have a burnt out college student who stupidly procrastinated far too muc on her two.. thats right.. two large papers due this afternoon..."
This post has no point. G'nite!
WORD OF THE DAY:
polka dot: design consisting of a pattern of regularly spaced circular spots
Mind you, I'm not complaining. Especially after spending the last 48 hours doing papers. I don't remember the last time that I felt so drained from doing school work -- it all got done, though.. praise Jesus!
I turned in the paper at 9:30, showered, laid down for 10 minutes and watched the Wonder Years, then headed off to the final Wednesday is the New Friday of the year... it's crazy to think that so many seniors are graduating. I'm not ready to let them go. They're far too incredible.
The Manor was hoppin' tonight with baby delts, which made me super happy. They're all such classy girls, too -- most of my friends drink, but none of the girls really get drunk. It's good to know that everyone is taking care of each other, too. They're wonderful girls.
The music of the evening leaned towards 90s alternative, which was kind of funny. By the time Mandy and I got there, some of the guys had been partying since 8:30, which made singing along quite interesting. They had a keg and a gin bucket.. which was a new concept for me. I don't think I'll ever understand why a turkey baster is more efficient than a ladel. Hopefully it was a new baster... the idea of drinking gin out of something that has been... yeah, okay, I'm done.
Gave Blake my dollar for the Hooters bet. Glad that's done :)
Yeah no but seriously... I feel like I've finally gotten to know these amazing seniors, and now they're all leaving. I think at one point I told Pete we could make babies I was so sad to see him go. And I don't know what I'm going to do without Tyner. Thankfully she and CB will both still be in G'Vegas next fall.
Okay, bed time. I think I smell like a frat house, but I could really care less. It's been the longest day eeeeever... 24 hours ago I was giving up on the 12 page paper I ended up cranking out this afternoon. I actually slept in Einsteins today for over an hour -- I just passed out on one of the couches and woke up when a tour group was going by.
.."and to our left we have a burnt out college student who stupidly procrastinated far too muc on her two.. thats right.. two large papers due this afternoon..."
This post has no point. G'nite!
WORD OF THE DAY:
polka dot:
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
mutton strip tease
"You can get a large audience together for a strip-tease act-that is, to watch a girl undress on stage. Now suppose you came to a country where you could fill a theatre by simply bringing a covered plate onto the stage and then slowly lifing the cover so as to let everyone see, just before the lights went out, that it contained a mutton chop or a bit of bacon, would you not think that in that country something had gone wrong with the appetite for food? And would not anyone who had grown up in a different world think there was something equally queer about the state of the sex instinct among us?"
C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
One paper down, one to goooo! St. Augustine, pray for me!
(Don't you just love requesting intercessory prayer for schoolwork having to do with the intercessing saint?!)
P.S. Sorry I haven't returned any phone calls / e-mails this week... tomorrow I'm finally liberated until the weekend, so get excited for some Bridgette communication!!
Yay!
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
let your troubles roll by
I can't believe I haven't posted this song before.. it amazes me every time I hear it...
Love endures, it clings away
When asked to leave, it begs to stay
Like the perfect song, at imperfect times
It's the way the chords struck with the rhymes
So let your troubles roll by...
He knows he can help himself
He can tell by a look at the books on his shelf
And someone, somewhere loses her son
Before her own sunset is said and done
And she dreams of sunflowers bent-over
Frozen in snow, and thinks 'Colorado.. ?'
But then plays her life back in slow motion
To keep in touch with that raw emotion
In the night, crushed empty can
Olive Oyle is waiting for her man
To come in from the fight
That will change their life
'For good this time...'
When all of your tears dry, let your troubles roll by
Like New Year's Eve, tonight's underway
But tomorrow you'll wake up afraid of the day
'Cause underneath the scars of your broken dreams
An undone war still wages and stings
You fear the year will blow
Like a breeze through a rainbow
You swear it's there, but you can't grab a hold
So you sit and cry and wonder why, why...
When all of your tears dry, let your troubles roll by
So many cities and windows and lives
And through each one there's a soul that strives to survive
So pay no mind, my sorrow's fine
The day is a live and that's why I cry
It's a New Year's toast, grab your list to conspire
The last snake hissed as he was thrown in the fire
You've come far, and though you're far from the end
You don't mind where you are, cause you know where you've been
Like a culture vulture sprawled out on the floor
Like a dead devil soldier washed up on the shore
With nothing of note but the ole' Capt.'s coat
And a burning boat you just sank with your salty tears...
carbon leaf . let your troubles roll by
Love endures, it clings away
When asked to leave, it begs to stay
Like the perfect song, at imperfect times
It's the way the chords struck with the rhymes
So let your troubles roll by...
He knows he can help himself
He can tell by a look at the books on his shelf
And someone, somewhere loses her son
Before her own sunset is said and done
And she dreams of sunflowers bent-over
Frozen in snow, and thinks 'Colorado.. ?'
But then plays her life back in slow motion
To keep in touch with that raw emotion
In the night, crushed empty can
Olive Oyle is waiting for her man
To come in from the fight
That will change their life
'For good this time...'
When all of your tears dry, let your troubles roll by
Like New Year's Eve, tonight's underway
But tomorrow you'll wake up afraid of the day
'Cause underneath the scars of your broken dreams
An undone war still wages and stings
You fear the year will blow
Like a breeze through a rainbow
You swear it's there, but you can't grab a hold
So you sit and cry and wonder why, why...
When all of your tears dry, let your troubles roll by
So many cities and windows and lives
And through each one there's a soul that strives to survive
So pay no mind, my sorrow's fine
The day is a live and that's why I cry
It's a New Year's toast, grab your list to conspire
The last snake hissed as he was thrown in the fire
You've come far, and though you're far from the end
You don't mind where you are, cause you know where you've been
Like a culture vulture sprawled out on the floor
Like a dead devil soldier washed up on the shore
With nothing of note but the ole' Capt.'s coat
And a burning boat you just sank with your salty tears...
carbon leaf . let your troubles roll by
getting better...
Today is better than yesterday. Last night at around 10pm I realized that I could either stay up and cry or just go to bed and get some sleep. Either way, I'd wake up at the same time... one way I'd have puffy eyes, the other I'd be well rested. Sleep won. I'm usually not that rational when I'm upset. Maybe I'm growing up :)
Today has been filled with a human development paper... and I have to attack Augustine tonight. Both papers are over 10 pages, HD due at 9am tomorrow, Augustine due at 11:59 PM. Sounds like fun, right?
I actually really enjoy writing papers.. I know that's ridiculous. Something about getting to toss together all of your thoughts into a persuasive angle just makes me giddy. Nerdy, I know... but I'd much rather pull a day like today than study for exams.
HD is about the role of rejection in preschool group-entry techniques and the implications for clique interventions by school personnel. It didn't really start out that way, but the more I write, the more it heads in the clique direction. Who knows.
The other paper is about Augustine's perception of interractions between the Fall of mankind and chastity. I'm really super excited about writing it, which is helping me fly through this HD research paper. He constantly goes off on marriage and the celibacy and chastity and sex and... I don't know, he's so relevant. One of my articles is entitled "Sex in the City... of God." Snazzy. Augustine is always in style. Ha. Hopefully I'll be able to switch over to the second paper by dinner time. It's a stretch, but we'll see.
Really powerful City of God quote I read yesterday: (Book XIX, Chapter 8)
"...the more friends we have and the more dispersed they are in different places, the further and more widely extend our fears that some evil may befall them from among all the mass of evils of this present world. For not only are we troubled and anxious because they may be afflicted by famine, war, disease, or captivity, fearing that in slavery they may suffer evils beyond our powers of imagination; there is the much more bitter fear, that their friendship be changed into treachery, malice and baseness. And when such things do happen (and the more numerous our friends, the more often they happen) and the news is brought to our ears, who, except one who has this experience, can be aware of the burning sorrow that ravages our hearts? Certianly we would rather hear our friends were dead, although this also we could not hear without grief... we should prefer to hear, or even to witness, the death of those we love, than to become aware that they... have died in their very soul."
I know how that burning, ravaging sorrow feels... but it blows my mind that we're called to have that same sorrow for all people that we have for our friends when they change. We're called to have overflowing compassion for all of God's people.. not just the ones who contribute to our lives. What an insane vocation -- what an incredible mission. Love truly is painful, isn't it?
Today has been filled with a human development paper... and I have to attack Augustine tonight. Both papers are over 10 pages, HD due at 9am tomorrow, Augustine due at 11:59 PM. Sounds like fun, right?
I actually really enjoy writing papers.. I know that's ridiculous. Something about getting to toss together all of your thoughts into a persuasive angle just makes me giddy. Nerdy, I know... but I'd much rather pull a day like today than study for exams.
HD is about the role of rejection in preschool group-entry techniques and the implications for clique interventions by school personnel. It didn't really start out that way, but the more I write, the more it heads in the clique direction. Who knows.
The other paper is about Augustine's perception of interractions between the Fall of mankind and chastity. I'm really super excited about writing it, which is helping me fly through this HD research paper. He constantly goes off on marriage and the celibacy and chastity and sex and... I don't know, he's so relevant. One of my articles is entitled "Sex in the City... of God." Snazzy. Augustine is always in style. Ha. Hopefully I'll be able to switch over to the second paper by dinner time. It's a stretch, but we'll see.
Really powerful City of God quote I read yesterday: (Book XIX, Chapter 8)
"...the more friends we have and the more dispersed they are in different places, the further and more widely extend our fears that some evil may befall them from among all the mass of evils of this present world. For not only are we troubled and anxious because they may be afflicted by famine, war, disease, or captivity, fearing that in slavery they may suffer evils beyond our powers of imagination; there is the much more bitter fear, that their friendship be changed into treachery, malice and baseness. And when such things do happen (and the more numerous our friends, the more often they happen) and the news is brought to our ears, who, except one who has this experience, can be aware of the burning sorrow that ravages our hearts? Certianly we would rather hear our friends were dead, although this also we could not hear without grief... we should prefer to hear, or even to witness, the death of those we love, than to become aware that they... have died in their very soul."
I know how that burning, ravaging sorrow feels... but it blows my mind that we're called to have that same sorrow for all people that we have for our friends when they change. We're called to have overflowing compassion for all of God's people.. not just the ones who contribute to our lives. What an insane vocation -- what an incredible mission. Love truly is painful, isn't it?
Monday, May 21, 2007
numb
Have you ever had one of those days when every little thing takes a whole lot out of you? No real reason.. every tap feels like a punch, every minute feels like an hour, every look could kill.
Today has been one of those days for me. I can't really describe why -- I think some of it has to do with exam week sneaking up, boy drama, living out of a suitcase this summer... Everything should by all normal means be fine.. it's just not. I can't really shake it, either. Everyone I have run into thinks I'm mad at them because I'm so glazed over.
Actually, I think I do know whats wrong. I don't know how to describe it, though. It's just that sinking feeling that you're not quite worth it, that you didn't quite make the cut.
It's amazing the power we have over each other... the power to withold love is incredible. The pride that kicks in by saying that the other person isn't worth the respect, the time of day. It's so draining. I'm so drained.
I'm so drained.
If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
Poverty stole your golden shoes
It didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But I knew it wasn't ever after
We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
I am never broken
In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
We are never broken
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's mind
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's eyes
We are God's hands
We are God's hands
jewel . hands
Today has been one of those days for me. I can't really describe why -- I think some of it has to do with exam week sneaking up, boy drama, living out of a suitcase this summer... Everything should by all normal means be fine.. it's just not. I can't really shake it, either. Everyone I have run into thinks I'm mad at them because I'm so glazed over.
Actually, I think I do know whats wrong. I don't know how to describe it, though. It's just that sinking feeling that you're not quite worth it, that you didn't quite make the cut.
It's amazing the power we have over each other... the power to withold love is incredible. The pride that kicks in by saying that the other person isn't worth the respect, the time of day. It's so draining. I'm so drained.
I'm so drained.
If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
Poverty stole your golden shoes
It didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But I knew it wasn't ever after
We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
I am never broken
In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
We are never broken
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's mind
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's eyes
We are God's hands
We are God's hands
jewel . hands
let the madness begin...
I found my quote for the day... "Peace begins with a smile." (Bl Mother Teresa)
The next few days are going to be really hard -- a lot of work to do, not a lot of time to do it in. It's totally my own fault for procrastinating, but hey -- such is life. :) I'll take the two days of craziness for a relatively laid back term. Hopefully my work ethic will perk back up over the summer in time for being Brewerized again in the fall!
I'm excited about getting a few days at home before camp starts, too... Pat's graduating, mom's getting surgery, Eric is in love, Nolan's growing, dad is making fun of me as always... he asked me the other day if I met my formal date online. ha.
Speaking of which... yesterday was THE most awkward day of my life.
Midnight: formal. enough said
Morning: aftermath of formal. enough said.
Afternoon: phone rings. I don't recognize the number, so being a dumb-behind, I answer:
"Hello?"
"Hi, Bridgette?"
"um.. yes? Who is this?"
"This is Alex."
"Alex...?"
"Alex [enter boob gazer's last name here]."
"OH. Um.. hi? What's up?"
"Oh, I was just driving to Pennsylvania, and I was thinking... hm... WHAT HAPPENED?"
::totally playing dumb:: "What do you mean.. what happened?"
"I mean.. what happened? We hang out and then you block me on facebook.. I mean, it's fine. Whatever. But would you tell me what happened?"
--
at this point, the following responses pop into my head:
1) You stared at my chest the entire date. Do you even remember what my face looks like?
2) You told me that your mom bought you fishnets so that you could cross dress for a frat party. I'm just not... into that.
3) I'm pregnant. (totally a lie.. just to throw him)
4) I canceled my facebook account?
5) I'm sorry.. I think you called the wrong Bridgette.
... but instead...
--
"I mean.. it just didn't work out. Sorry."
"I mean.. it's FINE. I just, you know, was WONDERING."
"Yeaaah.. okay.. I'm going to go now."
"Alright, I mean, thats fine! Juuust wondering."
"Okay, take care, bye.."
... okay, so it's been how long since I saw the kid? Back before Easter some time... because I had asked Blake to formal that day and we all asked before break. So yeah.. it's been a long time. At first I thought he was calling from a friends phone, but then I realized that I must have dumbly deleted his number last week during my emotional spring cleaning rampage, so it was probably his. Which probably confused him. So.. yeah..
Alright, so about 2 minutes after I hang up, the phone rings again. It's Hannah.
"Bridgette!! Guess who I just saw?"
"Who?"
"The nuns! The nuns are here!"
"Here here? Like.. Furman here?"
"Yeah! They're outside the DH heading towards South Housing. You should go say hi!"
Now, normally I would flock. And I kind of did because I'm kind of obsessed with Dominicans. But I missed a call from the Motherhouse this week (nothing like "St. Cecelia's Motherhouse" popping up on your caller ID...) but they didn't leave a message.. so I was a tad scared. Which is dumb. But yeah.. I missed the Dominicans :(
After I got off the phone with Hannah, Al just looked at me and we literally laughed for 10 minutes. Like... I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard. Life is just way too ironic for me to even function. A ridiculous formal, a call from boob-gazer, and "the nuns are here!" ... all in 24 hours. Granted, I should have probably told boob-gazer what really happened, but I was on the spot and, to be quite honest, worse things have happened since.
My roommates' take on the whole ordeal?
"Bridge.. let's be honest. God is sitting up in Heaven, pointing and laughing at you and saying 'Hey.. let's try this now!"
Sometimes I think that life has gotten a little petty. I think of the kids starving in Africa, genocide, abortion, what not.. and it's like "Seriously? Is this it? Are these ridiculous situations the real problems in my life?" But then I look at the rest of the stuff going on, and I recognize that there really are big things, too. The little things are just practice. I joked this year that I was going to use my free time to "save the world"... granted, I didn't end up having a whole lot of free time, and I definately didn't save the world. I feel like God has gently formed me into a much stronger person in the past 5 months, though. So maybe... one day... I could?
The little ridiculous experiences and adventures form character.. the daily hassles and struggles and conversations slowly shape who we become. God knows me better than I know myself. One of the younger Deltas asked me at informal which was better -- freshman year or sophomore year. The answer was complicated but really easy to come to: sophomore year was filled with the greatest pain and the greatest joy I've experienced in my meager little 20 years of life. I'd never cried so hard or laughed so much before. Yeah -- it hasn't always been fun. But the little bumps (or giant mountains) really do build character. If it came down to it, I'd do it 20 times over. And all things considered, that's saying a lot.
I guess that's why I'm a little confused. When is God going to beam me down a holy crusade to embark on with all of this pent up growth? The only answer I've come to is that He already has -- and right now, meeting these little daily hassles and struggles with purity and grace is my vocation.
As for the irony and ridiculousness of the last few weeks? I imagine God would agree with the great Jimmy Buffet: "If we couldn't laugh, we'd all go insane."
Amen, brother.
The next few days are going to be really hard -- a lot of work to do, not a lot of time to do it in. It's totally my own fault for procrastinating, but hey -- such is life. :) I'll take the two days of craziness for a relatively laid back term. Hopefully my work ethic will perk back up over the summer in time for being Brewerized again in the fall!
I'm excited about getting a few days at home before camp starts, too... Pat's graduating, mom's getting surgery, Eric is in love, Nolan's growing, dad is making fun of me as always... he asked me the other day if I met my formal date online. ha.
Speaking of which... yesterday was THE most awkward day of my life.
Midnight: formal. enough said
Morning: aftermath of formal. enough said.
Afternoon: phone rings. I don't recognize the number, so being a dumb-behind, I answer:
"Hello?"
"Hi, Bridgette?"
"um.. yes? Who is this?"
"This is Alex."
"Alex...?"
"Alex [enter boob gazer's last name here]."
"OH. Um.. hi? What's up?"
"Oh, I was just driving to Pennsylvania, and I was thinking... hm... WHAT HAPPENED?"
::totally playing dumb:: "What do you mean.. what happened?"
"I mean.. what happened? We hang out and then you block me on facebook.. I mean, it's fine. Whatever. But would you tell me what happened?"
--
at this point, the following responses pop into my head:
1) You stared at my chest the entire date. Do you even remember what my face looks like?
2) You told me that your mom bought you fishnets so that you could cross dress for a frat party. I'm just not... into that.
3) I'm pregnant. (totally a lie.. just to throw him)
4) I canceled my facebook account?
5) I'm sorry.. I think you called the wrong Bridgette.
... but instead...
--
"I mean.. it just didn't work out. Sorry."
"I mean.. it's FINE. I just, you know, was WONDERING."
"Yeaaah.. okay.. I'm going to go now."
"Alright, I mean, thats fine! Juuust wondering."
"Okay, take care, bye.."
... okay, so it's been how long since I saw the kid? Back before Easter some time... because I had asked Blake to formal that day and we all asked before break. So yeah.. it's been a long time. At first I thought he was calling from a friends phone, but then I realized that I must have dumbly deleted his number last week during my emotional spring cleaning rampage, so it was probably his. Which probably confused him. So.. yeah..
Alright, so about 2 minutes after I hang up, the phone rings again. It's Hannah.
"Bridgette!! Guess who I just saw?"
"Who?"
"The nuns! The nuns are here!"
"Here here? Like.. Furman here?"
"Yeah! They're outside the DH heading towards South Housing. You should go say hi!"
Now, normally I would flock. And I kind of did because I'm kind of obsessed with Dominicans. But I missed a call from the Motherhouse this week (nothing like "St. Cecelia's Motherhouse" popping up on your caller ID...) but they didn't leave a message.. so I was a tad scared. Which is dumb. But yeah.. I missed the Dominicans :(
After I got off the phone with Hannah, Al just looked at me and we literally laughed for 10 minutes. Like... I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard. Life is just way too ironic for me to even function. A ridiculous formal, a call from boob-gazer, and "the nuns are here!" ... all in 24 hours. Granted, I should have probably told boob-gazer what really happened, but I was on the spot and, to be quite honest, worse things have happened since.
My roommates' take on the whole ordeal?
"Bridge.. let's be honest. God is sitting up in Heaven, pointing and laughing at you and saying 'Hey.. let's try this now!"
Sometimes I think that life has gotten a little petty. I think of the kids starving in Africa, genocide, abortion, what not.. and it's like "Seriously? Is this it? Are these ridiculous situations the real problems in my life?" But then I look at the rest of the stuff going on, and I recognize that there really are big things, too. The little things are just practice. I joked this year that I was going to use my free time to "save the world"... granted, I didn't end up having a whole lot of free time, and I definately didn't save the world. I feel like God has gently formed me into a much stronger person in the past 5 months, though. So maybe... one day... I could?
The little ridiculous experiences and adventures form character.. the daily hassles and struggles and conversations slowly shape who we become. God knows me better than I know myself. One of the younger Deltas asked me at informal which was better -- freshman year or sophomore year. The answer was complicated but really easy to come to: sophomore year was filled with the greatest pain and the greatest joy I've experienced in my meager little 20 years of life. I'd never cried so hard or laughed so much before. Yeah -- it hasn't always been fun. But the little bumps (or giant mountains) really do build character. If it came down to it, I'd do it 20 times over. And all things considered, that's saying a lot.
I guess that's why I'm a little confused. When is God going to beam me down a holy crusade to embark on with all of this pent up growth? The only answer I've come to is that He already has -- and right now, meeting these little daily hassles and struggles with purity and grace is my vocation.
As for the irony and ridiculousness of the last few weeks? I imagine God would agree with the great Jimmy Buffet: "If we couldn't laugh, we'd all go insane."
Amen, brother.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
there aren't words
my favorite picture from formal...
the girls! 
oh, blake...
so pretty!
busted out my b-day outfit... 
walk it out, father
Sooo formal was good, I don't really know what to say about it other than I love my sisters and I love the boys that were there -- it was a "fantastic trainwreck," if that makes any sense. A wonderful evening... and Flat Rock was absolutely incredible... the hills and the golf course and the club were all perfect. And momma duck rapped, which was pretty sweet. Delta boob tag got a bit out of control, but that was to be expected. :)
This morning I went to a new church with one of my guy pals -- St Anthony's was incredible. It's in the poor area of downtown and its racially diverse, which is awesome. The musicians weren't there today, so everyone was singing and clapping on their own. The Spirit was alive and kickin' to say the least. It made me appreciate differences in culture surrounding the Liturgy... it was the same Mass, just a different spin. I left feeling refreshed and in love with the Lord.Father's homily was great, too... he talked about a lot of things, but one of them was wisdom and prudence. He told a really good story about an indian going to a chief and telling him that he had conflicting desires tumbling around inside of him, pulling him every which direction. The chief responded that those desires were like wolves... one biting, evil, lurking around waiting to attack... the other gentle, licking your wounds and curling up around your cold feet. The indian asked the chief, "But Father, which one will win?" ... the chief responded simply, "Whatever wolf you feed."
It made me think a lot about which wolf I feed in my life... and it made me think a whole lot about the influences of friends on what part you feed. I think the most deceptive part about the whole battle is keeping everything in perspective... when your friends are encouraging you to live purely and blamelessly, it's a lot easier. When they're not... it's harder. We all know and expect it to fall that way. My problem is getting ahead of myself -- when I grow towards purity even in tough situations, I think my spiritual life is better than it is, simply because I'm going against the grain. Yet if I had the same level of spiritual vigor around another set of friends, I'd feel the need to push myself more towards a virtuous lifestlye. Satan slips pride into the simplest of situations.A baby got baptized at Mass today, as well... and it was seriously one of the most beautiful baptisms I've ever seen. She was smiling all through the liturgy and fell asleep right before it was her time to shine... so she literally slept through being passed around the church and having holy water poured on her head. She woke up later when we were singing a hymn because of the clapping. She was simple and pure, and for some reason her innocense really struck me. In the Catholic liturgy the priest says something along the lines of, "these white robes symbolize your blamelessness and purity; with the help of your parents and godparents, may these robes remain spotless and pure when you approach the heavenly kingdom."
Sometimes I think I'm going to approach Heaven looking like I just got finished playing paintball. Sweaty, disgusting, covered in paint, out of breath... having just had a good time, then winding up in the middle of a formal affair. I feel like I would be out of place with the spiritual life I have now... goes to show that I've got a long way to go.That's the beauty of the Liturgy... you can hear the same thing 10,000 times, yet you always get something new out of it.
Ooh, and Father's take on St. Augustine? "Monica's patience in prayer is incredible.. she spent 33 years praying for her playboy son to come around. The hedon became a doctor of the church!"
The closing hymn had something to do with "lean on the Lord".. and Father was walking down the aisle looking like he was going to walk it out... minus the hand gestures. It was like something out of a movie... Reilly and I were dying laughing all the way to the car. Literally, he'd do the walk-it-out-lean every time the words came up. It was amazing.
Okay, so enough blogging... time to do work. I've got two HUGE papers due on Wednesday, a group presentation tomorrow, and two slideshows to get done this afternoon before Chapter. I don't even want to think about the fact that this is our last chapter with our seniors.
Lean with it, rock with it... :)
a picture says a thousand words
formal in a snapshot.too many details to type out at 3:30am. tomorrow, perhaps! :)
Saturday, May 19, 2007
save yourself
Turn out the lights.
Just say goodnight
To yourself.
May I remind you
When you find you
Are all alone's when you've
Got to be strong.
That's when they call you
In the night.
He's got your picture
In his mind.
He's got your number
On a paper
At his disposal
Anytime.
Is he really true?
Could you save yourself
For someone who
Could love you for you?
So many times
We just give it away
To someone who,
Someone who,
You met in a bar.
The back of a car.
And for a moment
You felt important
But not in your heart.
'Cause my self esteem -
It's been low.
Go ahaed and count.
It's been lower than low.
I know the feeling
Of it stealing
Right out from under me.
'Cause I wanna learn -
How you save yourself
For someone who
Could love you for you.
So many times
We just give it away
To someone who
Could you save yourself
For someone who
Loves you for you?
Loves me for me?
Give it away
To someone who
Someone who
Will cherish your name.
'Cause I wanna learn.
Could you save yourself
For someone who
Loves you for you?
And loves me for me?
Give it away
To someone who,
Someone who'll
Cherish your name...
Cherish your name...
sensefield
Just say goodnight
To yourself.
May I remind you
When you find you
Are all alone's when you've
Got to be strong.
That's when they call you
In the night.
He's got your picture
In his mind.
He's got your number
On a paper
At his disposal
Anytime.
Is he really true?
Could you save yourself
For someone who
Could love you for you?
So many times
We just give it away
To someone who,
Someone who,
You met in a bar.
The back of a car.
And for a moment
You felt important
But not in your heart.
'Cause my self esteem -
It's been low.
Go ahaed and count.
It's been lower than low.
I know the feeling
Of it stealing
Right out from under me.
'Cause I wanna learn -
How you save yourself
For someone who
Could love you for you.
So many times
We just give it away
To someone who
Could you save yourself
For someone who
Loves you for you?
Loves me for me?
Give it away
To someone who
Someone who
Will cherish your name.
'Cause I wanna learn.
Could you save yourself
For someone who
Loves you for you?
And loves me for me?
Give it away
To someone who,
Someone who'll
Cherish your name...
Cherish your name...
sensefield
informal
Quick entry about informal because I really really really need sleep...
Human Development exam is done. That's about all I want to say about it :)
Scaffold Sit was fun -- I'm thinking TriDelta won the War of the Roses, but the totals haven't been released yet. I'ver really enjoyed the extra time with my amazing sisters -- and with informal and formal this weekend, its truly a deltalicious time.
Informal: Mandy and I went and picked up Blake and the three of us headed to Leanna and Tyners' apt. to hang out with Seth, Pam, Harrison, Simon, Ann, Scott, Anthony, etc... it was fun, but I've had some horrible headaches lately, so I struggled a bit :) Afterwards we went to Hooters. For dinner. Highlights? A rather disturing conversation about that whole application thing and a man in a pink dress. That about sums up Hooters. Pics to follow.
Greenville Drive game: freezing but fun. Was very lucky to have such a fun date :) Spending time with Blake has been really fun -- he puts up with my insanity and dishes it right back out. We keep each other on our toes. I got to spend some time with people I don't see very often too, which was lovely!!
Shrek 3: Disappointing but not bad... just not as good as Shrek 2, or even Shrek 1. Blake and I discussed... we decided it was because it lacked the little pop culture blurbs that make Shrek... Shreky. I was freaked out by all of the death / violence scenes, too... some of them were just plain scary. Baby Shreks are cute, though.
Overall, amazing night.. I'm so ready for tomorrow. Nail appointment with my lovely little, then getting ready with the girls and FORMAL at the beautiful Flat Rock, NC.
Emotionally? Exhausted, but I think a lot of it is lack of sleep.
A lot on my mind tonight... a lot on my mind.
Human Development exam is done. That's about all I want to say about it :)
Scaffold Sit was fun -- I'm thinking TriDelta won the War of the Roses, but the totals haven't been released yet. I'ver really enjoyed the extra time with my amazing sisters -- and with informal and formal this weekend, its truly a deltalicious time.
Informal: Mandy and I went and picked up Blake and the three of us headed to Leanna and Tyners' apt. to hang out with Seth, Pam, Harrison, Simon, Ann, Scott, Anthony, etc... it was fun, but I've had some horrible headaches lately, so I struggled a bit :) Afterwards we went to Hooters. For dinner. Highlights? A rather disturing conversation about that whole application thing and a man in a pink dress. That about sums up Hooters. Pics to follow.
Greenville Drive game: freezing but fun. Was very lucky to have such a fun date :) Spending time with Blake has been really fun -- he puts up with my insanity and dishes it right back out. We keep each other on our toes. I got to spend some time with people I don't see very often too, which was lovely!!
Shrek 3: Disappointing but not bad... just not as good as Shrek 2, or even Shrek 1. Blake and I discussed... we decided it was because it lacked the little pop culture blurbs that make Shrek... Shreky. I was freaked out by all of the death / violence scenes, too... some of them were just plain scary. Baby Shreks are cute, though.
Overall, amazing night.. I'm so ready for tomorrow. Nail appointment with my lovely little, then getting ready with the girls and FORMAL at the beautiful Flat Rock, NC.
Emotionally? Exhausted, but I think a lot of it is lack of sleep.
A lot on my mind tonight... a lot on my mind.
Friday, May 18, 2007
stressless
I realized something really incredible last night.
I had a huge test today, informal/formal on the horizon, a dozen extracurricular things to do (apparently being inactive has worn off...), lots of stuff going through my head...but last night, somehow, I wasn't stressed!
Allow me to paint the picture of Bridgette of Years Past: I used to get shingles when I stressed out. I'd outdo myself, get 3 hours of sleep a night, pump myself up on caffiene, and get on with it. Exam week was a scary time for my loved ones, to say the least.
Maybe this little revelation doesn't sound too exciting to the outsider... but for me, this is HUGE. I'm finally getting myself in a mental routine that is healthy for my lifestyle. I took 2 huge study breaks last night, totally put the exam out of my mind, came back to the books when I was ready (oddly, they don't go anywhere when you leave them... they sit there patiently and wait), napped, prayed, decorated cookies, helped buy a pi kapp, listened to Phantom 5 times through (okay, so maybe that isn't healthy...)... and viola! The exam is over, and I'm still alive.
...and I'm happy? Such a new concept for me during school stress. It's amazing -- you can be happy and love Jesus and get good grades (and even procrastinate...).
"Have patience with all things,
I had a huge test today, informal/formal on the horizon, a dozen extracurricular things to do (apparently being inactive has worn off...), lots of stuff going through my head...but last night, somehow, I wasn't stressed!
Allow me to paint the picture of Bridgette of Years Past: I used to get shingles when I stressed out. I'd outdo myself, get 3 hours of sleep a night, pump myself up on caffiene, and get on with it. Exam week was a scary time for my loved ones, to say the least.
Maybe this little revelation doesn't sound too exciting to the outsider... but for me, this is HUGE. I'm finally getting myself in a mental routine that is healthy for my lifestyle. I took 2 huge study breaks last night, totally put the exam out of my mind, came back to the books when I was ready (oddly, they don't go anywhere when you leave them... they sit there patiently and wait), napped, prayed, decorated cookies, helped buy a pi kapp, listened to Phantom 5 times through (okay, so maybe that isn't healthy...)... and viola! The exam is over, and I'm still alive.
...and I'm happy? Such a new concept for me during school stress. It's amazing -- you can be happy and love Jesus and get good grades (and even procrastinate...).
"Have patience with all things,
but chiefly have patience with yourself."
Saint Francis De Sales
Thursday, May 17, 2007
phantom
The uncut original London cast recording of Phantom of the Opera will get me through the next 12 hours of life.
Andrew Lloyd Weber is a genius.
I wonder what Freud would have to say about the phantom. Repressed parental affection, perhaps?
Nighttime sharpens, heightens each sensation
Darkness stirs and wakes imagination
Silently the senses abandon their defenses
Slowly, gently, night unfurls its splendour
Grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender
Turn your face away from the garish light of day
Turn your thoughts away from cold, unfeeling light
And listen to the music of the night
Close you eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams
purge your thoughts of the life you knew before
Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar
And you'll live as you've never lived before
Softly, deftly, music shall caress you
Hear it, feel it, secretly posess you
Open up your mind,
Let your fantasies unwind
In this darkness which you know you cannot fight
The darkness of the music of the night
Let your mind start a journey through a strange, new world
Leave all thoughts of the life you knew before
Let your soul take you where you long to be!
Only then can you belong to me
Floating, falling, sweet intoxication
Touch me, trust me, savour each sensation
Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in
To the power of the music that I write
The power of the music of the night
You alone can make my song take flight
Help me make the music of the night
music of the night
Andrew Lloyd Weber is a genius.
I wonder what Freud would have to say about the phantom. Repressed parental affection, perhaps?
Nighttime sharpens, heightens each sensation
Darkness stirs and wakes imagination
Silently the senses abandon their defenses
Slowly, gently, night unfurls its splendour
Grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender
Turn your face away from the garish light of day
Turn your thoughts away from cold, unfeeling light
And listen to the music of the night
Close you eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams
purge your thoughts of the life you knew before
Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar
And you'll live as you've never lived before
Softly, deftly, music shall caress you
Hear it, feel it, secretly posess you
Open up your mind,
Let your fantasies unwind
In this darkness which you know you cannot fight
The darkness of the music of the night
Let your mind start a journey through a strange, new world
Leave all thoughts of the life you knew before
Let your soul take you where you long to be!
Only then can you belong to me
Floating, falling, sweet intoxication
Touch me, trust me, savour each sensation
Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in
To the power of the music that I write
The power of the music of the night
You alone can make my song take flight
Help me make the music of the night
music of the night
war of the roses
Usually I hate these week long philanthropy deals, but this one has been really fun. I think its the combination of lots of time with my sisters, lots of times with my guy friends in Pi Kapp, and lots of time thinking / daydreaming about Spearhead this summer. They have a philanthropy I'm passionate about, and my big sis is the philanthropy chair for TriDelt. Plus, Leanna is the rose. "War of the Roses" for PUSH America just kind of sums up a bunch of things I love.
Tyner picked me up at, oh, 11:45 pm last night to go to Walmart and get stuff to decorate the wheelchair for the races today... we ended up covering the thing in fake roses and streamers. It ended up taking until 2:45 am, but I think it was worth it. Tyner and Leanna and I have a ridiculous time together, so I think that helped. They're such amazing girls... we have a good time.
... oh, and our wheelchair won the decorations :)
say goodbye
So here we are tonight, you and me together
The storm outside, the fire is bright
And in your eyes I see whats on my mind
Youve got me wild, turned around inside
And then desire, see, is creeping up heavy inside here
And do you feel the same way as I do now
Now lets make this an evening
Lovers for a night, lovers for tonight
Stay here with me, love, tonight
Just for an evening
When we make our passion pictures
You and me twist up as secret creatures
And well stay here
Tommorrow go back to being friends ...
Float away here with me
An evening just wait and see
But tommorrow go back to your man
Im back to my world
And were back to being friends
Wait and see me,
Tonight lets do this thing
All we are is wasting hours until the
Sun comes up its all ours
On our way here
Tommorrow go back to being friends ...
dave matthews band . say goodbye
The storm outside, the fire is bright
And in your eyes I see whats on my mind
Youve got me wild, turned around inside
And then desire, see, is creeping up heavy inside here
And do you feel the same way as I do now
Now lets make this an evening
Lovers for a night, lovers for tonight
Stay here with me, love, tonight
Just for an evening
When we make our passion pictures
You and me twist up as secret creatures
And well stay here
Tommorrow go back to being friends ...
Float away here with me
An evening just wait and see
But tommorrow go back to your man
Im back to my world
And were back to being friends
Wait and see me,
Tonight lets do this thing
All we are is wasting hours until the
Sun comes up its all ours
On our way here
Tommorrow go back to being friends ...
dave matthews band . say goodbye
tequila : clothes :: good music : shoes
Dear Bridgette: please stop overreacting to impulsive ridiculous things.
I'm kind of a mess today... I've been trying to motivate myself to work for hours and it just hasn't worked. By "it just hasn't worked," I mean that I have become the laziest person alive. I have a huge test on Friday and have yet to read any of the material for it. Bad plan, Bridgette.
Luckily I am worthless and only have one class tomorrow, so I have from 10am - 2am to learn Human Development. A whole lot of Human Development. And when that's done, it's a deltalicious weekend with my dear friend Blake.
Oh, Formal...
I'm beside myself with excitement... I have yet to buy shoes, but I'm sure those will come along. I hate buying shoes for these things though because they always end up coming off. Ann always says "tequila makes the clothes come off"... but for me it's like that with sweet music and shoes. They just don't go together. And it's not like Blake would care. He's quite used to my ridiculousness. And by "quite used to," I mean that he expects nothing less. He'd probably be thrown if I didn't exercise my socially awkward tendencies for a little while.
I tried on my dress again today, tried to figure out what to do with my hair... I don't know, I have a good feeling about this weekend. Life has been so confusing lately... I've been relying on "good feelings" and "bad feelings" a lot. I'm not usually like that; I'm usually rational. But I've gotten to the point where I'm rational enough to know that the next few weeks just aren't going to be rational. Life isn't logistical. Labels never do people justice, expectations are never met as anticipated, emotions never seem to reflect reality. We are what we are. Such is life.
I spent a lot of time today thinking... I couldn't even really tell you what I thought about. I never used to be like that; I spent all my time doing. I'm pretty sure that "thinking time" has been good for me, but I know that "praying time" would be better. I've got in the habit of "borderline prayer"... spiritual thoughts without the prayerful discipline. Prayer is so much more fruitful, but borderline prayer is so much easier. It's a bad habit, I suppose.
Speaking of habits... I was sitting in O-Staff today and my cell phone buzzed and I looked down and "St. Cecelia's Motherhouse" was on the caller ID.
eep.
I talked to sister awhile ago about going on a vocations retreat at the end of this year... but it's during exams and its crunch time and I really can't go now. The religious life is just one of those things that always slips into my life at inopportune times. I guess there's never an opportune time to give yourself completely to God. There's an appropriate time (when He calls), but its never going to be cut and dry.
In Augustine class today we talked about how God couldn't show Adam and Eve what the consequences of the fall would be or they would have no possibility of exercising faith. Story of life, no? We always anticipate the future.. I can't count the number of times I wished I knew what was going to happen a week from now, 3 months from now, 30 years from now... but if I knew the consequences of my present lifestyle, I'd have no use for faith. We must trust God and cling to Him, knowing that He will care for us and bring us to where we need to be.
Sometimes I wish God would beam me a few answers, though. Such as -- do I listen to my head or my heart? Is the logic from limited experience enough to outweigh my crazy emotions? I feel like I finally have myself figured out a bit... but I still can't explain it to other people. I start going off about root beer floats and rainbow trout... and then I get home and say to myself, "what the hell was that?!" And I think of 10,000 things I could have said better.
And then the next day I wake up and try to explain my failed self-explanations and a friend can just utter one sentence that sums up everything...
... and then I'm back to square one.
This post makes no sense. Apologies.
I'm kind of a mess today... I've been trying to motivate myself to work for hours and it just hasn't worked. By "it just hasn't worked," I mean that I have become the laziest person alive. I have a huge test on Friday and have yet to read any of the material for it. Bad plan, Bridgette.
Luckily I am worthless and only have one class tomorrow, so I have from 10am - 2am to learn Human Development. A whole lot of Human Development. And when that's done, it's a deltalicious weekend with my dear friend Blake.
Oh, Formal...
I'm beside myself with excitement... I have yet to buy shoes, but I'm sure those will come along. I hate buying shoes for these things though because they always end up coming off. Ann always says "tequila makes the clothes come off"... but for me it's like that with sweet music and shoes. They just don't go together. And it's not like Blake would care. He's quite used to my ridiculousness. And by "quite used to," I mean that he expects nothing less. He'd probably be thrown if I didn't exercise my socially awkward tendencies for a little while.
I tried on my dress again today, tried to figure out what to do with my hair... I don't know, I have a good feeling about this weekend. Life has been so confusing lately... I've been relying on "good feelings" and "bad feelings" a lot. I'm not usually like that; I'm usually rational. But I've gotten to the point where I'm rational enough to know that the next few weeks just aren't going to be rational. Life isn't logistical. Labels never do people justice, expectations are never met as anticipated, emotions never seem to reflect reality. We are what we are. Such is life.
I spent a lot of time today thinking... I couldn't even really tell you what I thought about. I never used to be like that; I spent all my time doing. I'm pretty sure that "thinking time" has been good for me, but I know that "praying time" would be better. I've got in the habit of "borderline prayer"... spiritual thoughts without the prayerful discipline. Prayer is so much more fruitful, but borderline prayer is so much easier. It's a bad habit, I suppose.
Speaking of habits... I was sitting in O-Staff today and my cell phone buzzed and I looked down and "St. Cecelia's Motherhouse" was on the caller ID.
eep.
I talked to sister awhile ago about going on a vocations retreat at the end of this year... but it's during exams and its crunch time and I really can't go now. The religious life is just one of those things that always slips into my life at inopportune times. I guess there's never an opportune time to give yourself completely to God. There's an appropriate time (when He calls), but its never going to be cut and dry.
In Augustine class today we talked about how God couldn't show Adam and Eve what the consequences of the fall would be or they would have no possibility of exercising faith. Story of life, no? We always anticipate the future.. I can't count the number of times I wished I knew what was going to happen a week from now, 3 months from now, 30 years from now... but if I knew the consequences of my present lifestyle, I'd have no use for faith. We must trust God and cling to Him, knowing that He will care for us and bring us to where we need to be.
Sometimes I wish God would beam me a few answers, though. Such as -- do I listen to my head or my heart? Is the logic from limited experience enough to outweigh my crazy emotions? I feel like I finally have myself figured out a bit... but I still can't explain it to other people. I start going off about root beer floats and rainbow trout... and then I get home and say to myself, "what the hell was that?!" And I think of 10,000 things I could have said better.
And then the next day I wake up and try to explain my failed self-explanations and a friend can just utter one sentence that sums up everything...
... and then I'm back to square one.
This post makes no sense. Apologies.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
wasted
I want to get inside your head
But I know I don't belong there now
It's tug of war with a crimson rope
And I just know that somehow
This has gotta work out;
I gotta move on.
But something about you
Keeps playing on and on
It's like that song
That never ends.
I want to scream out loud
But the pillow just suffocates me every time.
It's like that dream you keep on having
And I just want to make you mine
I want to cry it all out
But your kisses catch every little tear
None of them wasted, none of them drunk
So scared, so full of my unspoken fear
This has gotta work out;
I gotta move on.
But something about you
Keeps playing on and on
It's like that song
That never ends.
But I know I don't belong there now
It's tug of war with a crimson rope
And I just know that somehow
This has gotta work out;
I gotta move on.
But something about you
Keeps playing on and on
It's like that song
That never ends.
I want to scream out loud
But the pillow just suffocates me every time.
It's like that dream you keep on having
And I just want to make you mine
I want to cry it all out
But your kisses catch every little tear
None of them wasted, none of them drunk
So scared, so full of my unspoken fear
This has gotta work out;
I gotta move on.
But something about you
Keeps playing on and on
It's like that song
That never ends.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
diamonds on the inside
I knew a girl
Her name was truth
She was a horrible liar
She couldnt spend one day alone
But she couldnt be satisfied
When you have everything
You have everything to lose
She made herself a bed of nails
And shes planning on putting it to use
But she had diamonds on the inside
She had diamonds on the inside
Diamonds
A candle throws its light into the darkness
In a nasty world so shines a good deed
Make sure the fortune that you seek
Is the fortune that you need
Tell me why the first to ask
Is the last to give every time
What you say and do not mean
Follows you close behind
She had diamonds on the inside
Like the soldier long standing under fire
Any change comes as a relief
Let the givers name remain unspoken
She is just a generous thief
She had diamonds on the inside
ben harper
Her name was truth
She was a horrible liar
She couldnt spend one day alone
But she couldnt be satisfied
When you have everything
You have everything to lose
She made herself a bed of nails
And shes planning on putting it to use
But she had diamonds on the inside
She had diamonds on the inside
Diamonds
A candle throws its light into the darkness
In a nasty world so shines a good deed
Make sure the fortune that you seek
Is the fortune that you need
Tell me why the first to ask
Is the last to give every time
What you say and do not mean
Follows you close behind
She had diamonds on the inside
Like the soldier long standing under fire
Any change comes as a relief
Let the givers name remain unspoken
She is just a generous thief
She had diamonds on the inside
ben harper
top five preschool pickup lines
It's crunch time, kids.
I've been really super lucky this term -- I'm underloading because I had mono, and I'm inactive on most of my extracurriculars for the same reason. As a result, I have no excuse to procrastinate -- I far too often find myself frollicking in a field rather than staying up late with James B. Duke.
Yet the stress of the end of the semester couldn't even escape slacker me.
I have a really big test friday and two huge research papers due Wednesday, not to mention Augustine's City of God to read (nothing like a little 1000 pg light reading lol). It's a little insane, but not nearly as bad as in years past. Delta stuff is out of control though, and Push week keeps things hopping. Informal and Formal this weekend will put a abit of a time crunch on weekend productivity.
Luckily, I'm geekily obsessed with my classes. I've raved about "Augustine class" (aka Grieser's Christian Thought) on here before, but my Human Development psych class isn't too shabby, either. It's a whole lot easier than other psych classes at Furman too, which is nice. Our upcoming project/paper involved going to the Childhood Development Center and doing naturalistic observations on a topic of our choice. Our group chose to explore group entry techniques and shifts in trends of play in 3-5 year olds by age and gender. For our presentation of our research, we decided to showcase the "Top 10 Preschool Pickup Lines" for a little entertainment. I thought I'd post a few on here... they're pretty funny. And all legit. And most were said by children of our professors. Que fantastico!
"Excuse me, I'm going to be the princess."
"I'm a fierce buffalo."
::crashed a wagon into a tree::
"I see London, I see France..."
"I've got a magic wand."
... if only life were still so simple. :)
I've been really super lucky this term -- I'm underloading because I had mono, and I'm inactive on most of my extracurriculars for the same reason. As a result, I have no excuse to procrastinate -- I far too often find myself frollicking in a field rather than staying up late with James B. Duke.
Yet the stress of the end of the semester couldn't even escape slacker me.
I have a really big test friday and two huge research papers due Wednesday, not to mention Augustine's City of God to read (nothing like a little 1000 pg light reading lol). It's a little insane, but not nearly as bad as in years past. Delta stuff is out of control though, and Push week keeps things hopping. Informal and Formal this weekend will put a abit of a time crunch on weekend productivity.
Luckily, I'm geekily obsessed with my classes. I've raved about "Augustine class" (aka Grieser's Christian Thought) on here before, but my Human Development psych class isn't too shabby, either. It's a whole lot easier than other psych classes at Furman too, which is nice. Our upcoming project/paper involved going to the Childhood Development Center and doing naturalistic observations on a topic of our choice. Our group chose to explore group entry techniques and shifts in trends of play in 3-5 year olds by age and gender. For our presentation of our research, we decided to showcase the "Top 10 Preschool Pickup Lines" for a little entertainment. I thought I'd post a few on here... they're pretty funny. And all legit. And most were said by children of our professors. Que fantastico!
"Excuse me, I'm going to be the princess."
"I'm a fierce buffalo."
::crashed a wagon into a tree::
"I see London, I see France..."
"I've got a magic wand."
... if only life were still so simple. :)
lyrics that sing to me today
I hate the world today.
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change.
Tried to tell you
but you look at me like maybe
I'm an angel underneath,
innocent and sweet.
Yesterday I cried.
You must have been relieved
to see the softer side.
I can understand how
you'd be so confused.
I don't envy you.
I'm a little bit of everything
all rolled into one.
meredith brooks
She's sun and rain,
she's fire and ice
A little crazy but it's nice
And when she gets mad, you best leave her alone
'Cause she'll rage just like a river
Then she'll beg you to forgive her
She's every woman that I've ever known.
She's so New York and then L.A.
And every town along the way
She's every place that I've never been
She's makin love on rainy nights
She's a stroll through Christmas lights
And she's everything I want to do again.
It needs no explanation
'Cause it all makes perfect sense
For when it comes down to temptation
She's on both sides of the fence.
She's anything but typical
She's so unpredictable
Oh but even at her worst she ain't that bad
She's as real as real can be
And she's every fantasy
Lord she's every lover that I've ever had
And she's every lover that I've never had
Garth Brooks
Say goodbye,
It will make me want to kiss you.
Pink
If you, if you could return
Don’t let it burn, don’t let it fade
I’m sure I’m not being rude
But it’s just your attitude
It’s tearing me apart
It’s ruining everything
And I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey so did you
So why were you holding her hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time
Was it just a game to you
But I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger
Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong
I was wrong
If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn’t be so confused
And I wouldn’t feel so used
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you
And I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to. do you have to
Do you have to let it linger
The Cranberries
Someday, I'll fly.
Someday, I'll soar.
Someday, I'll think
something much more.
'Cuz I'm bigger than my
body gives me credit for.
John Mayer
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change.
Tried to tell you
but you look at me like maybe
I'm an angel underneath,
innocent and sweet.
Yesterday I cried.
You must have been relieved
to see the softer side.
I can understand how
you'd be so confused.
I don't envy you.
I'm a little bit of everything
all rolled into one.
meredith brooks
She's sun and rain,
she's fire and ice
A little crazy but it's nice
And when she gets mad, you best leave her alone
'Cause she'll rage just like a river
Then she'll beg you to forgive her
She's every woman that I've ever known.
She's so New York and then L.A.
And every town along the way
She's every place that I've never been
She's makin love on rainy nights
She's a stroll through Christmas lights
And she's everything I want to do again.
It needs no explanation
'Cause it all makes perfect sense
For when it comes down to temptation
She's on both sides of the fence.
She's anything but typical
She's so unpredictable
Oh but even at her worst she ain't that bad
She's as real as real can be
And she's every fantasy
Lord she's every lover that I've ever had
And she's every lover that I've never had
Garth Brooks
Say goodbye,
It will make me want to kiss you.
Pink
If you, if you could return
Don’t let it burn, don’t let it fade
I’m sure I’m not being rude
But it’s just your attitude
It’s tearing me apart
It’s ruining everything
And I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey so did you
So why were you holding her hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time
Was it just a game to you
But I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger
Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong
I was wrong
If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn’t be so confused
And I wouldn’t feel so used
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you
And I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to. do you have to
Do you have to let it linger
The Cranberries
Someday, I'll fly.
Someday, I'll soar.
Someday, I'll think
something much more.
'Cuz I'm bigger than my
body gives me credit for.
John Mayer
Monday, May 14, 2007
empathy
We just finished up the Pi Kappa Phi empathy dessert.
I'm in love with Spearhead already.
One of the regular campers and her family came to the dessert to talk about living with a disability and raising a child with a disability. Her parents had a really interesting perspective on their experiences -- listening to her mom talk about putting effort into her daughter's appearance because she is stared at so often struck something in my heart. For some reason, I got that warm fuzzy feeling you get when something exciting is about to happen... I just had this wave of reassurance that Spearhead is really where I'm supposed to be.
Her parents talked a lot about honoring their daughter's decisions and passions, giving her as many opportunities as they can... and watching the three of them light up when they talk about her accomplishments was heart warming. It goes back to JPII's dignity of life emphasis -- bringing dignity to people by helping them take care of themselves brings about a fruitful life. From their stories, it was more than clear that the camper had influenced so many peoples' lives. That's what I want to do with my life. And that's what I get to do with my summer.
Her parents said over and over that their daughter found lifelong friends at Spearhead -- that it was the only place outside of their home where she was valued. Her friends were there, her life was there... she looked forward to the weekend programs to see everyone again.
If that's the story of one camper, I can't wait to meet the rest of them.
:)
I'm in love with Spearhead already.
One of the regular campers and her family came to the dessert to talk about living with a disability and raising a child with a disability. Her parents had a really interesting perspective on their experiences -- listening to her mom talk about putting effort into her daughter's appearance because she is stared at so often struck something in my heart. For some reason, I got that warm fuzzy feeling you get when something exciting is about to happen... I just had this wave of reassurance that Spearhead is really where I'm supposed to be.
Her parents talked a lot about honoring their daughter's decisions and passions, giving her as many opportunities as they can... and watching the three of them light up when they talk about her accomplishments was heart warming. It goes back to JPII's dignity of life emphasis -- bringing dignity to people by helping them take care of themselves brings about a fruitful life. From their stories, it was more than clear that the camper had influenced so many peoples' lives. That's what I want to do with my life. And that's what I get to do with my summer.
Her parents said over and over that their daughter found lifelong friends at Spearhead -- that it was the only place outside of their home where she was valued. Her friends were there, her life was there... she looked forward to the weekend programs to see everyone again.
If that's the story of one camper, I can't wait to meet the rest of them.
:)
give a little bit
Soooooo about that whole "school" thing.
I'm already in summer mode.
Classes are picking up, formal is this weekend, it's War of the Roses week... Furman life is insane. And occassionally, God humors me by tossing me a handful of awkward situations and letting me trudge through them. Today has been one of those days. It reminds me when we went on road trips when we were kids and mom would try to get us to read in the car. We didn't really want to, it made me a little sick, but it was ultimately good for us.
I'm assuming painfully awkward situations are good for me, too.
If nothing else, a healthy dose of insanity reminds me how much I have to rely on God to survive. We talked today in Augustine class about angels and the choice to turn to God or to ourselves in times of need, and how we have the luxury of making that choice moment by moment. It's humbling to realize how often I turn towards myself in times of crisis rather than towards the One Person who can actually make it better. I can't make that little pit in my stomach go away, but He can.
Isn't He glorious?
I'm already in summer mode.
Classes are picking up, formal is this weekend, it's War of the Roses week... Furman life is insane. And occassionally, God humors me by tossing me a handful of awkward situations and letting me trudge through them. Today has been one of those days. It reminds me when we went on road trips when we were kids and mom would try to get us to read in the car. We didn't really want to, it made me a little sick, but it was ultimately good for us.
I'm assuming painfully awkward situations are good for me, too.
If nothing else, a healthy dose of insanity reminds me how much I have to rely on God to survive. We talked today in Augustine class about angels and the choice to turn to God or to ourselves in times of need, and how we have the luxury of making that choice moment by moment. It's humbling to realize how often I turn towards myself in times of crisis rather than towards the One Person who can actually make it better. I can't make that little pit in my stomach go away, but He can.
Isn't He glorious?
Sunday, May 13, 2007
bikers and bikinis
Three cheers for Myrtle Beach!!
Beach Weekend was absolutely amazing... night one I was completely overwhelmed. I think I could count the number of sober people there on my hands. Still amazing though.. it wasn't a drunken orgy, everyone was just having a good, chill time. Couple drama here and there, but that's to be expected with a hotel and tequila.
The ride up was entertaining -- I love my sisters... and spending some time with Meggie was really fun. Her GPS system was in German, which made actually finding Myrtle Beach an adventure... by the end of it the poor little swiss miss was being told to "shuten-ze-upen." We tried to stop at Krispy Kreme, but they didn't have enough donuts to fulfil Ann's every desire :) ...
Thursday night was TJ's 21st birthday, so a group of us headed out to Hard Rock Cafe. Soo much fun... got to hear about TJ's childhood (great story about him locking himself in a bathroom for 6 hours) and Sharkey's financial youth (very George Washington-esque).. then it was back to the hotel for some late night hot tubs and lazy rivers and beach-ness... it was glorious.
Friday morning, I was up. I opened my eyes an hour before my alarm went off, sat up in bed, and just started babbling to the roomsies about going to the beach. I felt like my dog... I know that sounds bizarre, but there's no other way to describe it. Boomer gets this glazed over look and you can tell he's thinking one thing: "BEACH!"
swim suit, check.
peanutbutter and jelly, check.
rasberry lemonade, check.
magazines I never ended up reading because there were so many better things to do, check.
flip flops I would continue to lose throughout the weekend, check.
We got to the beach at 10:15. We beat most of the crew out there, but the ones who beat us were already a bit intoxicated. It was impressing.
Some reoccurring trends I noticed:
- Deep down inside, everyone just wants to be naked.
- The chastity shirt got more use than my sunscreen.
- Princess cups are a fashion statement.
- Bikers don't stop for pedestrians.
- My Pretty Pony kites are so in right now.
- 4pm is naked time.
- It's four o'clock somewhere.
- Faulkner's novel titles is a perfectly acceptable topic of drunk elevator conversation.
- Every good argument ends with someone busting out a Bible.
- After 2am, beach bums pair of like it's Noah's Ark.
- Shells are sharp.
- Pizzas are sometimes delivered by 50-year-old women.
- Who needs money when you could pay with a lap dance?
- Peanuts bounce off boobs like springboards.
- Russell has horrible aim.
- Deltas like boob tag. "How do you like dem deltas?"
- Never leave clothes you value on a 8th story balcony.
- GPS systems can sprechenzie Deutsch...
- Some songs never get old to some people.
- "Some people" does not refer to "all people"
- Pajamas are fratty. I say so.
- Occasionally, you can get kicked out of a room for being sober.
- Blue really does exist.
- If you leave your lawn chair in the hallway, it could end up in an elevator.
- Elevators can fit 5 lawn chairs, 2 coolers, 5 drunks, and ipod speakers.
- If you party sitting down in an elevator, you still move.
- MASH is the best game ever.
- There's nothing like a theological walk on the beach.
- Fish will happily eat fried flounder. Canibalism at its finest.
- Fireworks are beautiful.
- If I marry Ryan, we will have two labs... apparently.
- Sunburns itch.
- "No shoes, no shirt, no problem..." is, in fact, a problem.
- Being poked in the belly button does not, in fact, impregnate you.
- Nalgenes are not flotation devices.
- Speedos are tiny but man thongs are tinier.
- Some people just never grow out of pushing every button on an elevator... every time.
- Blue likes buttons.
- Jelly and beds is a bad combination.
- It's never too soon to comment on a facebook picture.
- Boob tag confuses the bejeebies out of boys.
- Drunk boys like beer pong.
- When no beer pong table is available, drunk boys will make their own with available materials.
- Dresser drawers can be flipped over to create suitable beer pong surfaces.
- I really do like long walks on the beach.
- Time really does fly when you're having fun.
- "Tropical Storm" is such a loose term.
- I love cigar smoke.
- Oceans inspire prayer.
- I have conquered my battle with awkwardness.
- Russell has not conquered Mandy.
- The boys who make up Pi Kappa Phi are incredible individuals.
- Said boys are also unpredictable and confusing.
- Bikers don't respond well to Phantom of the Opera.
- Parking garages have great acoustics.
- You can never have too many donuts.
- Krispy Kreme does, in fact, occasionally run out of donuts.
- Practical jokes are almost always funny.
- Telling a drunk person that their long awaited pizza has arrived and handing them an empty box will initially excite them.
- Pizza boxes have sharp edges.
- Music can be orgasmic.
- Myrtle Beach Biker / Beach Weekend is not a family friendly atmosphere.
- Pre-teens should not know how to booty dance.
- Floating on a raft is merely a suggestion.
- Hot tubs and sunburns are a bad combination.
- If you stick 10 FU kids in a hotel room with alcohol, feminist debates are inevitable.
- Skinny dipping in the surf is a plan for disaster.
- My sisters are beautiful and wonderful.
- Britney and Justin are still alive in ipods across the country.
- You don't have to drink to have a good time.
- Let people surprise you.
- Let God surprise you.
- My babies will still not wear two pieces.. I don't care what Apple and Heidi are doing.
- Be honest at all times.
- Being honest doesn't require saying what you're thinking.
- Shaking vodka and sprite and then flipping open the lid is a bad plan.
- Vodka burns when it's up your nose.
- Don't do dumb things twice.
- "I've got music, I've got rhythm, I've got hairy legs..."
- The tequila fairy comes at night and throws parties... big ones.
- I dominate foam sword dueling.
- Always turn right at the Lutheran church.
- Furman kids are everywhere. Even at Wendy's at detours of detours.
- Our baby deltas are awesome.
- Not all piers have homeless people under them.
- My close friends all enjoy being naked far too much.
- I crush like a 12-year-old.
- I have the most wonderful friends in the world. They may be crazy, but I was incredibly blessed to be able to spend time with some of the most genuine, compassionate, and friendly people I've ever met. They're all different, but that's what makes them... them. So carpe diem, Beach Weeekend 2007! You were truly a weekend to remember.
more to come when I'm not so sleepy...
Beach Weekend was absolutely amazing... night one I was completely overwhelmed. I think I could count the number of sober people there on my hands. Still amazing though.. it wasn't a drunken orgy, everyone was just having a good, chill time. Couple drama here and there, but that's to be expected with a hotel and tequila.
The ride up was entertaining -- I love my sisters... and spending some time with Meggie was really fun. Her GPS system was in German, which made actually finding Myrtle Beach an adventure... by the end of it the poor little swiss miss was being told to "shuten-ze-upen." We tried to stop at Krispy Kreme, but they didn't have enough donuts to fulfil Ann's every desire :) ...
Thursday night was TJ's 21st birthday, so a group of us headed out to Hard Rock Cafe. Soo much fun... got to hear about TJ's childhood (great story about him locking himself in a bathroom for 6 hours) and Sharkey's financial youth (very George Washington-esque).. then it was back to the hotel for some late night hot tubs and lazy rivers and beach-ness... it was glorious.
Friday morning, I was up. I opened my eyes an hour before my alarm went off, sat up in bed, and just started babbling to the roomsies about going to the beach. I felt like my dog... I know that sounds bizarre, but there's no other way to describe it. Boomer gets this glazed over look and you can tell he's thinking one thing: "BEACH!"
swim suit, check.
peanutbutter and jelly, check.
rasberry lemonade, check.
magazines I never ended up reading because there were so many better things to do, check.
flip flops I would continue to lose throughout the weekend, check.
We got to the beach at 10:15. We beat most of the crew out there, but the ones who beat us were already a bit intoxicated. It was impressing.
Some reoccurring trends I noticed:
- Deep down inside, everyone just wants to be naked.
- The chastity shirt got more use than my sunscreen.
- Princess cups are a fashion statement.
- Bikers don't stop for pedestrians.
- My Pretty Pony kites are so in right now.
- 4pm is naked time.
- It's four o'clock somewhere.
- Faulkner's novel titles is a perfectly acceptable topic of drunk elevator conversation.
- Every good argument ends with someone busting out a Bible.
- After 2am, beach bums pair of like it's Noah's Ark.
- Shells are sharp.
- Pizzas are sometimes delivered by 50-year-old women.
- Who needs money when you could pay with a lap dance?
- Peanuts bounce off boobs like springboards.
- Russell has horrible aim.
- Deltas like boob tag. "How do you like dem deltas?"
- Never leave clothes you value on a 8th story balcony.
- GPS systems can sprechenzie Deutsch...
- Some songs never get old to some people.
- "Some people" does not refer to "all people"
- Pajamas are fratty. I say so.
- Occasionally, you can get kicked out of a room for being sober.
- Blue really does exist.
- If you leave your lawn chair in the hallway, it could end up in an elevator.
- Elevators can fit 5 lawn chairs, 2 coolers, 5 drunks, and ipod speakers.
- If you party sitting down in an elevator, you still move.
- MASH is the best game ever.
- There's nothing like a theological walk on the beach.
- Fish will happily eat fried flounder. Canibalism at its finest.
- Fireworks are beautiful.
- If I marry Ryan, we will have two labs... apparently.
- Sunburns itch.
- "No shoes, no shirt, no problem..." is, in fact, a problem.
- Being poked in the belly button does not, in fact, impregnate you.
- Nalgenes are not flotation devices.
- Speedos are tiny but man thongs are tinier.
- Some people just never grow out of pushing every button on an elevator... every time.
- Blue likes buttons.
- Jelly and beds is a bad combination.
- It's never too soon to comment on a facebook picture.
- Boob tag confuses the bejeebies out of boys.
- Drunk boys like beer pong.
- When no beer pong table is available, drunk boys will make their own with available materials.
- Dresser drawers can be flipped over to create suitable beer pong surfaces.
- I really do like long walks on the beach.
- Time really does fly when you're having fun.
- "Tropical Storm" is such a loose term.
- I love cigar smoke.
- Oceans inspire prayer.
- I have conquered my battle with awkwardness.
- Russell has not conquered Mandy.
- The boys who make up Pi Kappa Phi are incredible individuals.
- Said boys are also unpredictable and confusing.
- Bikers don't respond well to Phantom of the Opera.
- Parking garages have great acoustics.
- You can never have too many donuts.
- Krispy Kreme does, in fact, occasionally run out of donuts.
- Practical jokes are almost always funny.
- Telling a drunk person that their long awaited pizza has arrived and handing them an empty box will initially excite them.
- Pizza boxes have sharp edges.
- Music can be orgasmic.
- Myrtle Beach Biker / Beach Weekend is not a family friendly atmosphere.
- Pre-teens should not know how to booty dance.
- Floating on a raft is merely a suggestion.
- Hot tubs and sunburns are a bad combination.
- If you stick 10 FU kids in a hotel room with alcohol, feminist debates are inevitable.
- Skinny dipping in the surf is a plan for disaster.
- My sisters are beautiful and wonderful.
- Britney and Justin are still alive in ipods across the country.
- You don't have to drink to have a good time.
- Let people surprise you.
- Let God surprise you.
- My babies will still not wear two pieces.. I don't care what Apple and Heidi are doing.
- Be honest at all times.
- Being honest doesn't require saying what you're thinking.
- Shaking vodka and sprite and then flipping open the lid is a bad plan.
- Vodka burns when it's up your nose.
- Don't do dumb things twice.
- "I've got music, I've got rhythm, I've got hairy legs..."
- The tequila fairy comes at night and throws parties... big ones.
- I dominate foam sword dueling.
- Always turn right at the Lutheran church.
- Furman kids are everywhere. Even at Wendy's at detours of detours.
- Our baby deltas are awesome.
- Not all piers have homeless people under them.
- My close friends all enjoy being naked far too much.
- I crush like a 12-year-old.
- I have the most wonderful friends in the world. They may be crazy, but I was incredibly blessed to be able to spend time with some of the most genuine, compassionate, and friendly people I've ever met. They're all different, but that's what makes them... them. So carpe diem, Beach Weeekend 2007! You were truly a weekend to remember.
more to come when I'm not so sleepy...
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