oh no...

So today would probably be the worst day I could come down with a stomach virus...

and I did.

I don't understand. I've been sick more times this year than ever before, but my lifestyle is a lot more healthy than it ever has been. Obnoxious, right? And it's not the ::coughcough-i-think-i-have-a-cold:: sick... its 2 months of mono, crazy fevers, and now a stomach virus. During exams. Sweet.

It's my last chance to go out and play with the seniors, friends are coming in town tomorrow, it's Sr. Rebecca's coming home party, I have to pack, and -- oh yeah -- I have to have mastered the vast majority of Augustine's works by Monday and the entity of Human Development by Tuesday. I don't have time to be sick!!!

I'm hoping it was just the stress of today, but apparently there's something going around. I started feeling yucky yesterday morning -- I though I had had something funny the night before -- and today I've just felt insane. I had to drive my roommate to the airport, then we got there too late for her to check a bag so I had to turn around and go back, and by the time I got there she had to take another flight becuase they wouldn't let her leave a bag unattended.. so I was in the car for 2-ish hours... I think the constant movement made it worse.

And I was all excited about going to visit Jesus in Adoration this afternoon, and I could only stay for a decade of the Rosary before I felt sick again. Like -- I'll be fine for 10 minutes, then death kicks in. Bah!

... and a four hour nap didn't help at all.

Sorry for all the whining... I guess after this whole year is said and done, I was hoping to go out gracefully :) Instead, God is pointing and laughing at me again. It's so different being sick at college, too -- at home you've got mom there by your side to take care of you and make sure you're okay... and last year I was a lot closer to high school friends so we all kind of did that for each other. But now? It's a good lesson about independence. My friends are fantastic, but it's not quite the same as being at home. There's nothing quite the same as being at home.

I talk a lot about how excited I am to not be at home this whole summer, but I really will miss parts of it -- especially my family. It will be good, though.. because in the brief times that I am there, they are the people I will want to be with more than anyone else. I won't have time to selfishly not appreciate them like I have in the past.

There are a few friends I'll really miss spending time with, too. Our crew from high school, on the whole, has all stayed freakishly close throughout the college transition. The dynamics have changed a whole lot, but so have the people. When we all get together it's kind of like we never really left.

On the whole, the closeness can be a good thing... but old habits -- and old flames -- die hard. So with the fun comes the drama, and I'm just not in to that anymore... I've found it's a lot easier just to fade out. The people that matter will sort through the drama and remember you exist. The people who don't matter -- as surprising as they tend to be -- are the people that didn't really care as much as you thought they did. It's a bittersweet process, but I suppose its better done sooner than later. Sometimes it's better to cut your losses and move on with life... as big as those losses may be.

This is a really depressing post. I must think of something to redeem it.

Awww my friend just called me to check in. Okay, it's amazing how much better that made me feel. Can I just say how amazing my sisters are? I could rant about that for years.... :)

Oooh my dreams... okay the ones last night were AWFUL and I don't dare even go there, but the ones during my Friday night nap rampage were... nunny. Of course. The nuns are everywhere.

SO in the dream Sr. Rebecca's party was at the motherhouse, and it was the same time as the vocations retreat I really wanted to go on (Blake affectionately called it "nun camp") but its obviously during exams, so yeah... BUT in the dream I was at the motherhouse and I saw the retreat going on and everyone was leaving after Sr.'s party and suddenly I was at a crime scene trying to save babies from being killed, then I was back at the motherhouse... and I realized I wanted to be a sister.. something about watching "nun camp"... I felt in the dream just like I felt when I left the motherhouse in high school (I cried on the plane, I didn't want to go..), which was really bizarre...

... and I got my papers and I think became a nun.

Disclaimer: If I somehow manage to become a sister before I leave college, I will have a candlelight at chapter. lol.

Okay, I'm going to take more meds and go play for a little while. I can't stay in my last Friday night. I just can't :)

Adios!