"is it swimming?"

I'm crossing my fingers Mongo doesn't die in the next ten minutes.

You see... Al and I got this fish. It was actually quite an ordeal -- we've been talking about it all year long... how we were going to throw it an "It's a BOY!" party with goldfish and go fish and Finding Nemo and swedish fish and... yeah, that never happened. But yes, for Christmas my lovely roomie bought me a beta fish tank... it's pink and glittery and looks like a little television.

Perfect for a male beta fish.

First, everyone thought he was going to die from pure immasculation... Mongo (named for the gingerbread man in Shrek2) is surrounded by pink gravel and a lovely pink and purple coral centerpiece. He can actually play fetch, but most of his throw toys are pink or purple, too (you toss it in the tank and he chases it, quite entertaining actually).

Two things I've noticed about Mongo.

1) He doesn't swim.

Okay, now I don't mean he's belly up or anything, but the fish just floats. Mandy actually asked me in the library today if Mongo was floating in the tumbler or if he had actually moved. We often think he's dead... but after a few taps on the tank and a "MONGO DONT DIE!" he perks up and wags his little pretty tail end.

2) He doesn't die.

Today I cleaned his tank for the first time since we got him... at the beginning of the term. I didn't really know how to do it.. something about letting the water settle for a few hours? So I left a Furman tumbler of water out overnight, dumped him in (fish out of water!), cleaned out his pink gravel and toys, filled the tank back up, and let it sit for a few hours. I just dumped him back in, and I can't tell if he's happy or not. He's just... floating. He's had 2 beta blocks (haha.. get it? like beta blocker?) and one tank switcheroo, and he's still... floating. Maybe he'd perk up if we played fetch again?

Our main theory for his inactivity is that he just simply wants to hide behind his coral from the embarassment that is immasculation. I thought that the name Mongo would compensate for any testosterone cravings he may be having, but apparently not. Mongo is quite inactive.

Now that summer is on the horizon, though... we're in a pickle. Al is going home to Nashville, and I'm going to be working at camp. What do we do with Mongo? Our options are all a little.. scary.

One would be for Al to take him to Nashville... but the idea of Mongo in a car for that long is a little crazy. And knowing Al, some little yappy dog would probably eat our beloved beta.

Second option would be for me to take him to camp to live in a cabin with four counselors and 6-8 female campers with disabilities. Mongo will either be greatly loved or greatly mauled, I'm not quite sure.

Another option... Russell. We could try to pawn Mongo off on the boys in that apartment for the summer, I could feed him on weekends. Downside? It's Russell. He'll probably say no. And by "no," I mean "no-wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwuuuuuh, breiiiiidgiiiiit, ah downt waunt yeur steupid fish. that wouuld be riDIculouuus." He put up enough of a fight just buying the darn thing. Granted, I did walk into PetCo with a stuffed papa rainbow trout under my arm, but honestly -- I'm sure stranger things have happened there.

Final option... the Manor (the Pi Kapp frat house). A bunch of guys are living there for the summer, so maybe Mongo could quietly float on a mantel somewhere? In Blake's room? Something tells me that he'll end up swimming in vodka, though.. so perhaps not a good plan.

::sigh:: Poor Mongo.

I just got up to check on him and he was floating unusually close to the bottom of the tank so I started screaming at him and tapping the tank, then Al was like "DID YOU PUT THE CHLORINE THING IN?" and I had no idea what she was talking about, so she ran to the shelf, grabbed it and read the "one capful" instructions... in the excitement, however, I think Mongo got a bit more than the reccommended amount.

And I think the chlorine blocker is supposed to go in before the fish?

hmm...