about her suspicions that dad is going to sell the house behind her back (because he suggested new carpet):
"I'm going to be that crazy lady who waits until dad leaves and then I'm going to go outside and take the sign out of the yard and hide it in my 'special place' with a lockbox and sit inside and not answer the phone all day..."
about her "hernia surgery:"
"...and they made me a new bellybutton! Now, aren't you jealous of my boobs? It's all Eric's fault... he nursed them into their condition and I finally get them back!"
about Pat's claim that he's becomming Buddhist:
"Oh, yes! My yoga instructors are all Buddhists."
(me, kidding): "Well that's no good."
"Oh, it's okay. They're not too crazy about it. I mean, there's some chanting and stuff, but they're not trying to convert me."
--"That's nice, mom."
On Mother's Day:
"..and your father leaned over at 5am and said, 'Happy Mother's Day! I'm going on the boat.' ...and so he went fishing. I should write a book, but I can't really write."
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