I know this is random, skim if you please, but I've been ironing out some thoughts today and somewhere between my elliptical machine day dreams and the republican debate daydreams, I realized something. It was one of those, "hey.. yeah, that explains me" things.
I'm single. I'm restless. And it's a good thing.
I feel like we go through life desiring -- when we're little, we desire approval, friends, companions, affection... I'd like to think that those desires change, but I don't think they really do too much. I think as we get older, we begin to see one person as capable of fulfilling those desires... and along comes dating. Relationships. Marriage. The single life is characteristically restless. But why is that such a bad thing?
Eternal rest is the whole goal of life, isn't it? So if we become complacent in earthly relationships, we will obviously lose hope... that desire for eternal rest with God. Restlessness is our heart beating hope. Restlessness can become virtuous when we refuse to satisfy.
I don't know.. tonight for a brief glimmering moment I missed having that person to call before I went to bed, that person to tell what was on my mind... I missed the comfort of having the best friend boyfriend... the get-it-all package that isn't all its really cracked up to be. God gently reminded me that I already have that Person... that my heart won't be satisfied with a phone call right now. This restless heart needs Him.
So for now, Birdy is flying solo... resting in Him for brief moments before I take off into restlessness again. I pray that eventually, He sends me a companion for the journey.. but not quite yet.
"Our hearts are restless
until they rest in You."
St. Augustine
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