Soooooo I'm starting a new blog. Sophomore year is comng to a close, and I just think its time. Kind of like starting a new journal, new life... it's exciting. So welcome to my new little place.
This year has been an absolute whirlwind. No point hashing through the gory details now, but it's safe to say that it's been an adventure. I've grown from it, though.. I truly have. And that makes me happy. It feels like I've been to hell and back, but I'm where I need to be now. There's a joy in that. There's a joy in knowing who you are, being proud of who you've become, having a purpose... praise be to God!
It's weird being at Furman without having a lot of schoolwork... the rooms (my 3 "roommates") joke that "Bridgette doesn't really go to school..." because I'm underloading and inactive in all my extracurriculars (thanks to an ugly bout of mono at the beginning of the term). I think God just saw that I was overdoing it, gently tried to get me to cut back and focus more on Him, and when that didn't work, He smit me with a disease. It worked, though. Furman's nice without the insanity. I can enjoy myself... I have time to pray and workout and spend time with my friends and sisters. It's nice. I feel more productive than I ever have before.
So should I really return to FUSAB in the fall?
I love the board... the rush of energy you get when you plan an amazing event, the sense of accomplishment you get when you nab a deal with an agent, the people... it's great. I've definately grown a lot through it, too. I've realized that it's a lifestyle, though... not an extracurricular. When I'm immersed in FUSAB, I have no time for myself, my sisters, O-Staff, classes, anything. I just wonder if I should be using my skills for something more substantial than baseball cookouts and which movies to bring to the amphitheater (I know, I know.. there's so much more to it than that!). It's just... there are babies dying. I should be making flyers about that. Or genocide, or doing that prisoner on death row correspondance thing I tried out winter term... "the harvest is plenty but the laborers are few." There are so many needs in the world.
So yeah, this summer I need to do some soul searching about how I want to spend my second half of college. First half was busy, busy, busy... learned a lot, grew a lot. I think it's time to narrow my life though, to really plant myself in what I'm doing and let myself grow. I've tried this term to plant myself more in my faith, in taking care of myself better, in investing in friendships and people. I have time to be passionate about things. It's nice.
For the first time ever, I'm independent. I've learned that it's not about the whole "I do what I want" thing or about being selfish... independence is about being selfless, about giving all of yourself to what God desires of you. Pouring yourself into the world, yet remaining rooted in Him. It's kind of like standing on the edge of a cliff and leaning over as far as you can, trusting that an invisible Hand will catch you no matter what. Going with the whole FUSAB thing... I've compromised my independence so much over the last few years by pouring myself completely into projects, people, relationships, what have you. I wasn't rooted enough in what actually matters. I lost myself in my own life. How sad.
So in the words of Brewer, "alas and alack," it's time to keep going. New challenges, new adventures. Bring it on.
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