why hello, blog.

hi, blog. i'm back.

barely.

so i hate getting on here and venting, because 90% of the time, life just isn't that bad. and life now really isn't bad, either. i'm just doing that slightly-terrifying gut check thing i tend to do every once and awhile. and gut checks make me think. and thinking makes me want to blog.

so hello, blog.

i'm really ready to go home for thanksgiving. i've been working really hard this term, which is good, of course... to some extent. i know my limits.. and i'm at them. absolutely at them. i've had that fast-beating-heart feeling all day from the anxiety of one limit in particular, and it's making me seriously rethink the things i'm devoting my time to. again.

i'm pouring my soul into rush right now... and it's good. really good. good things are coming from it... but the girl i'm working with is driving me absolutely nuts. like, i really can't do it anymore. my position requires that i work at my own pace, simply because its a ridiculous amount of stuff that i just can't do on command. i learned from fusab that i need to learn to say no once and awhile, so i tried it here. numerous times. i just never thought that the person i was saying "no" to would say "no" right back... demanding that i do the things i discerned not to do because i'm her "assistant." it's so bizarre, and its making me so incredibly mad. it's an extracurricular, for pete sake. it's supposed to be fun.

so 99% of my heart just isn't in it right now.. and that's really unfortunate, because thanksgiving is my biggest time to deal with this stuff and get ready for recruitment. i don't know.

oh, i decided this week i want to go to vanderbilt and become a speech pathologist. sweet, huh?

aaaaand i love cory. absolutely love cory. he puts up with my stress like none other.. and is the only person that can make me laugh hysterically when i'm on the verge of tears. like.. he just shows up in some ridiculous car or doing some ridiculous thing.. and he gives me that look that says "babe, stop. in the grand scheme, it's not important" and i believe him. and it really does all get better. and i've never been quite this smitten before.. quite this confident and happy. and it's not because of him.. joy doesn't come from people, it's got to come from something greater than us. but it's with him... and that's beautiful. i'm confident and happy with him in my life. and it's a rare thing that two people this different can go along together this well.

he surprised me with dinner the other night... i got back from chapter, and he was in the kitchen baking taco bowls and dicing tomatos and creating the best taco salads i've ever had. and we had a blast, just being with each other.

oh, wouldn't it be the best damn day if we all took time to breathe (oar)

yay!

we took crafty to dinner tonight, and she went on and on about showering (her new fixation, i suppose).. and then announced that she showered with boys. and she tried to order a beer from the counter. and cory is her husband. it was all very scandalous and ridiculous and confirmed why i will not let my kids watch trashy tv.

i love crafty. if i had ds, i would be crafty. she's crazy, she's funny, she loves boys and doing crafts, and she's grumpy for a solid 15 minutes a day.. then she's fine! she's fantastic, i'm telling you.

phew. okay.. i'm going to go get some more stuff done. then HOME!

:-D