good grief

is there such a thing? good grief, i mean?

jessica died yesterday. God, that's hard to write. this is the first time i've experienced the grief of losing a peer, someone my age... she lived three doors down, she was the first person i met when i came to visit furman, we rocked out fusab together for two years... she lived with and was really close to a lot of girls in tridelta...

... she's JP. she can't be dead.

i don't really know what to think. i know we all experience grief differently, and there's no right way to mourn. but jp was fantastic.. she was one of those few people who come into everyones' lives and truly make a difference. she loved -- God, she loved -- and she was loved. she poured her heart into her friends and family.. we were all so blessed to have her in our lives.

she finished her coursework in december and moved to colorado to train to be a missionary in spain, and the van she was in got hit yesterday by a man they beleived had a heart attack... a baby was in the car... pray for all of them. pray, pray, pray.

God, it's horrible. it's a horrible, horrible story.

i just pray that she didn't suffer -- she had a soul made for heaven. i know she's looking down on all of us, purely and beautifully pouring her soul into what she's desired to do for 21 years -- love God fully and clearly. Know God fully and purely.

JP, thank you for the hearts you touched, the spirits you lifted, the smiles you shared. Thank you for encouraging the world to love God by your example, and for sharing your joyful spirit with everyone you met. You've changed the world -- you did it -- and now you can enjoy the fruits of your love in Heaven. Give Jesus a kiss for me, check up on Avery, pray for the rest of us... I can't wait to see you soon. You will be missed and forever loved...