change

A lot of changes are going on in life right now. The semester is changing, which is usually plenty to throw me- at least for a small loop. But this is also my last semester. I've changed my whole schedule -- no more nannying. I'm done with my final Brewer class... I'm graduating... I'm going back to camp... then I'm moving... and some other changes, too, I'm sure ;)

One of my goals this term is to really contemplate life again. I've always said I have a Dominican heart; their motto is "to contemplate and to give to the others the fruit of contemplation." I pray by contemplating, I live by contemplating. I don't want to be too busy to really invest in my experiences, you know? When I don't take the time to really think, I don't enjoy the amazing things that go on in my life.

So I blew the dust off the cover of one of my favorite Catholic classics: The Imitation of Christ by St Thomas A'Kempis. The tiny book is a series of reflections on all sorts of aspects of the spiritual life, and St. T has a tendency to express things in a way that really resonate with my flavor of spirituality.

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Chapter 33
The Inconstancy of Our Heart and Directing Our Final Intention to God

Son, trust not to thy present affection, it will quickly be changed into another.

As long as thou livest thou art subject to change, even against thy will; so as to be sometimes joyful, at other times sad; now easy, again troubled; at one time devout, at another dry; sometimes fervent, at other times sluggish; one day heavy, another lighter.

But he that is wise and well instructed in spirit stands above all these changes; not minding what he feels in himself, nor on what side the wind of instability blows; but that the whole bent of his soul may advance towards his due and wished-for end. ...

Thomas A'Kempis
My Imitation of Christ

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Isn't it beautiful?? I just love the description of the "whole bent of his soul"... makes me really think beyond how I'm doing in the moment, and instead on how I'm doing in the bigger picture. Despite the little battles and the mundane experiences of every day life, what is the tendency of my heart?

More importantly, the end will be "due" and "wished for." Our actions have consequences, our lives have purpose. With those two givens comes great joy and grave responsibility... both for ourselves and for the ones we love.

Surveying the bent of my soul. Perhaps a belated New Year's resolution? Sounds good to me :)