Apologies for not blogging more lately -- or responding to e-mails, facebooks, etc. Comcast is down at the apt, so I've been stuck without much communication the last week. And then I was in Memphis.
Yep, went to Memphis.
I went to represent our chapter at the collegiate St Jude conference, which ended up being very nice. I wasn't thrilled to do another weekend of small talk with hundreds of new people, but I've gotten used to it at this point. I'm craving face to face conversations with old friends like you wouldn't believe... I like the adventurous side of moving to a new place, but I miss the comfort of having a home.
The weekend was emotional, too... lots of incredible, inspiring patients with beautiful stories. The hospital is amazing; the kids describe it as Disney-esque -- the doctors eat alongside the patients in the dining hall, the kids get taken everywhere in little red wagons instead of hospital beds. The counters are low, the doctors sit in little chairs so they can describe the procedures to their little patients. One father said that when marking his son's belly for an incision, the doctor drew a bunny rabbit. Another kid wouldn't take off his radiation mask because he thought it made him Spiderman.
On a more serious note, I didn't realize how urgent the care provided at St. Jude can be; we heard numerous stories of families who were told to get to Memphis as soon as possible, that their children would need surgery to remove life-threatening tumors that night. The families show up and don't have to pay a dime; they are given a place to stay, child life specialists to take them through the procedures, food, transportation. Many parents have to quit jobs to be at their child's side. St. Jude helps them to focus on their child's life, rather than worldly concerns. They save lives.
The weekend was really, really inspiring.
So I'm back with lots of fresh ideas to amp up our incredibly shabby yearly contribution to the hospital (some schools raise over $170k every single year... which still isn't much, considering the hospital must spend $1.3 million dollars EVERY DAY to keep its doors open).
I was having a rough emotional weekend to begin with -- my heart wasn't at rest, so I hadn't slept or had an appetite. Add on hundreds of adorable, suffering children with cancer... by Saturday night, I was a mess. So rather than attend yet another large social mixer, I went to my room, curled up in my pjs and a box of kleenexes, and sobbed my way through the Notebook. Three cheers for the Memphis blues...
Mind you, I never watch sad movies. I hate them. But I had too much on my mind to actually figure out what to cry about, so I gave myself a catalyst. Nothing like two old people in love dying side-by-side to get the ole' water well going.
I also got some very good advice from some very old friends. I don't know, things have changed a lot. This summer has helped me figure out how I feel and why. I think I've become more rational (despite my previously described Notebook episode), so even when things hurt, I try not to get depressed about them. I'm trying to just deal with what I can and let the pain take its course. I doesn't make anything any more fun, but it's better than hysterics.
I just miss home.
TRIAD has been really exciting, though. The autism assessments are incredible; watching researchers work with clinicians to develop and implement screening tools... so cool. And two year olds with autism? Even cooler. They're adorable. And many of them have this distinct habit of chucking toys over their shoulders when they're bored. While I'm learning how hard the diagnostic process can be for both the family and the clinicians, I have a newfound respect for research. It's nice to know my work is going towards helping give these kiddos the social tools they need to develop as holistically as possible.
And I've decided that all of the school will be worth it (if I can get in). I want to work with these kids forever and ever. And with the right education, I won't be doing data collection... I'll be able to design programs, work with families, establish new tools to push the field forward. So the trick is just finding the right education :)... and figuring out how to live a functional life at the same time.
:)
SO yes, off to do the Sunday thing. Busy week at work ahead... I'm cramming all 40 hours into 4 days so I can have more time in Greenville on Friday (YAY WEDDING!!)... I'm so ready to see everyone.
Have a wonderful week, all! I'll hopefully have internet again very soon. So many stories I'm leaving out!!
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