(I wrote most of this post yesterday)
Charleston has been one big blur.
I'm leaving in less than 48 hours to head back to Greenville, but it feels like I just got here. I want another week -- time with my family, time to myself, time for grad school, time to breathe... today especially wore me out for some reason. I took one of those way-too-late naps and had strange dreams that really upset me. I get very upset by strange dreams.
Part of me is really sick of a suitcase, but I know deep down I would live out of a suitcase forever if it meant I could spend more time at home. I can just never come home. It's just far enough where it's really, really hard to pull off.
I feel very disoriented, and I think a large part is my nap. I know part of it is bigger, though... I've always had a strong internal spiritual sense of consistency, and I think I just haven't been putting in the time or effort to bring that part of myself out these days. I used to cling onto any type of consistency I could find -- boys, friends, religious this-or-that -- and I just don't do that anymore. I still love Cory and my friends and my faith, but I'm not as recklessly apt to cling to the aspects of those things that change. I've learned to enjoy them rather than take them for granted. Maybe that's why it's hard to leave home -- right now, my family is pretty consistent. Consistently crazy, but consistent nonetheless. And consistently growing... I miss watching them grow.
Cory's consistent, too -- amazingly so. Our relationship has matured a lot with the distance this summer, which puts my heart to rest a lot. We didn't talk a lot, we lived our own lives with our own friends... but we came back strong ;). We've both changed, but I think all the change is positive.
So that's where I am... dreading packing all of my stuff back up and moving (again), but so excited to have a somewhat permanent place to be for a bit :). I didn't get to do everything I wanted to do while I was home... namely because people had to work, so I had a lot of refresh-the-wardrobe time to myself (had to make shopping sound productive)... but I got to see a few friends, experience the family in a whole new way... it was nice.
Pat is looking for a roommate. Pat's choices for roommates in Florence, based on self-ad pictures: a guy dressed in a batman cape, a 400-lb african-american "princess," or a 51-year-old woman. He finally found a 23-year-old hairdresser (woman) with a terrier puppy. It's a go... and it's ironically hilarious because he hasn't had a haircut in months. He looks like an Irish Jesus.
--
So today is my last day home :). I'm going to grab lunch with Cam, then go through everything I'm bringing to school to make sure I really need it. And I'm going to put together a basket of stuff that I will need the first few hours I'm there (which I always say I'm going to do but never do)... Martha Stewart has a list somewhere of things like scissors and command strips and paper towels and hand soap... things that I won't want to search for when I need them. My roomies aren't moving in for a few days, so I have to do all of that "life-necessity" shopping on my own... the first few days without anyone there are always a bit weird.
So laundry, cleaning, packing... story of life :) I'm getting excited, though... it's time to start another adventure...
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