musings

i always blog a lot during exams. maybe it's because i'd rather think about life than think about economics. maybe its for the stress relief... who knows. but it helps. it gives me some sense of control over the madness that is exams.

i'm actually not too stressed -- i get a solid 5 hours of studying tomorrow, which should help a lot. and if i blow the exam... i'll blame it on yankow. i'm aware, it's a horrible excuse... but let's be honest... it's all going to be his fault :)

so today was kind of a big day. as was yesterady. pi kapp had the christmas krunk party.. which was actually really fun. maybe because it was closed.. i don't know. knowing most of the people there was nice, though... it was the most fun i've had at a frat party in awhile. the rest of the night was hard, but it was the growing hard, you know? it was an opportunity for unreciprocated love, to say the least. and God gives us very few moments like that.

i've realized something really cool about my friends, too -- we're all so different, but they know me. and they don't want me to be like them... and it's the first time in my life i've felt that free in my relationships, if that makes any sense. i think the stark contrast between my conversations with past friends and current friends... i feel so supported and loved in everything right now.

in all of its failures and all of its faults, life is a bittersweet waltz

that support has led me to figure stuff out on my own, which is such a greater gift than expectations. one of my professors was talking about parenting and the difference between praise and encouragement.. it's so subtle but so beautiful. praise places value in success, whereas encouragement places value in the process. praise keeps us glued to expectations, but encouragement keeps us growing. that growth leads us to surpass what others may see as success.

i'm lucky. so, so, lucky.