oh, it's time.

they say you reach a point where you just know "it's time" to be on your own.

yep, reached it.

my mother has decided that i have seasonal anxiety disorder. i've been home for less than 24 hours, and she's already diagnosed me with a disorder because the boys annoyed me at dinner... because they stuff their faces and burp and act like boys. and nolan won't stop eating. she says that because they're not on drugs, they're perfect.

so she got annoyed that i was annoyed... and i think the fact that i took off today and took pictures by myself around charleston freaked them out. they seem to equate my love for quiet artsy time with a disorder. and THEN she proceeded to explain to me what depression is, and how i take out my depression on others.

i seriously have been home for 24 hours.

but the rest of the day has been lovely... and last night was good, too. amy's dad had his company christmas party, and i dropped by and saw amy, mike, cullen, and kerry... who were all really fun and in good spirits. amy was a tad mortified her dad was on the floor dancing to gwen stefani (he greated me with "you missed it! i was just taking shots!")... but you know, that's life :).

today was great... i slept in, then just went around town taking pictures. saw kyle, which was nice... i just needed some quiet time to transition back home, you know? charleston is actually kind of a stressful place... my family is absolutely chaotic, and i love them.. but now that i've been living on my own and taking care of myself, i've become my own little person, and i can't be that here. same with my high school friends... i love them to pieces, but we've all changed. i don't get the same rush from hanging out in huge groups of them anymore... so i don't. and i like it that way. i feel like individual friendships are the way to go.

i hit the beach and the old village to play with my new camera (p.s. cory is amazing... super amazing... corey smith concert tickets and a camera for christmas? ridiculous.), and i decided that the beach in and of itself isn't that stunning.. it's just such a backdrop for other things, you know? like lighthouses and wildflowers and footprints and sunsets. and those are the truly beautiful things.

that's the thing about charleston.. the backdrop is so quiet. i walked onto the beach and it felt like me and the wind were the only things in the world. and my fingers were numb and my nose was cold and it was fantastic. the grasses on the dunes were dancing in the wind and cute little couples were strolling up and down the shore... and i felt lovely. it was great.

the old village is my dream spot to live.. the houses are so quaint and beautiful and rustic, and the boats and the waterway are just so beautiful. i found this big, gorgeous oak tree and parked to take pictures.. and this sweet old yellow lab with some barfight wounds started following me around... he finally plopped down and rolled on his back so i'd scratch his tummy. i swear... all labs are the same.

went out on the dock thing at the end of pitt street and saw more dogs and cute couples and pretty bridges and fun waterways. i woudl have stayed longer but the wind picked up and i couldn't feel my fingers. i feel like that's an accomplishment, though.. playing until my fingers were numb.

quiet night, it appears. i was going to go to mass but had this little existential crisis that i need to work through, i think. i don't know.. i've just been so unsure of everything, and i feel like stepping back from church for a few weeks to work it out will be good for my faith in the long run. i just need some time to reflect on thigns from the beginning. i've been saying that all term, but it's true. God understands, i'm sure. and the Church will be better off for it in the end. so tonight i'm going to think and make Christmas cards for people, and work on some homemade presents. loving on others always makes this faith stuff come more clearly. i feel like moving my feet does more for my spirit than moving my lips. that's kind of been the story of fall.. work things out in my heart quietly but keep the feet moving and grooving.

okay, on to move and groove :)