soul mates

" 'People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. ... That was his job, and he did great, and now it's over... You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be.'"

- Richard from Texas; Eat, Pray, Love


I just think think that quote is so beautiful -- this woman is all bent out of shape because someone has left her life, and Richard nails the situation: we don't have to write off the people who leave our lives. We have to say goodbye, but we don't have to forget them.

I have always struggled with accepting that I have very little control over the roles of people in my life. Friends will always come and go, people will come into this world and then eventually leave it, but something about my heart just doesn't like the whole process. I would be so much more content if I could just accept that I have no control. Nor do I really want that sort of control, when we really get down to things...

Right now, my issue isn't really people leaving my life -- for living in a strange new place, my life feels surprisingly full with wonderful friends and a supportive, loving family. It's more people not leaving, if that makes any sense. People lingering... some in reality, some just in my heart.

"Come or go as you please, but don't stand in the doorway letting in the hot air." - my heart.

I'm starting to realize that for some people, their role in my life may just be to come and go as they please -- to keep me on my toes and to keep my heart open. To keep me from getting too set in my ways, from thinking I am entitled to a perfectly uncomplicated life.

I think that's my favorite part of Richard's soul mate description -- even our worst enemy can be a soul mate. With an open heart and the right attitude, we can learn something from everyone. We can rob even the worst situation by taking away the gift of experience.

We should never turn away that gift, right?

So my weekly resolution (I should really start doing those) -- treat everyone like a soul mate in their own right. Let them come, let them go... appreciate the process.

I'll try, anyway.