phew.
okay, weekend. go.
friday. nun party. the convent was beautiful.. tucked away, 2 minutes away from furman. mass was incredible.. fr. kirby said Mass for us.. and it was such a good time to think. to pray and think. about holiness.
it's so easy to focus on being happy instead of on being holy. i realized that when i have the choice between being "happy" and truly holy... i almost always choose temporary happiness.
yeah, not good.
so i just got this overwhelming peace... the chapel is surrounded by windows, and the windows overlooked a peaceful little stream and rain was pouring down and i just felt warm and safe and loved by God. and i just sat there and thought about holiness. and i was happy.
kind of like when Jesus tells the man to sell his posessions and follow Him, and scripture says the man was sad because he had many posessions... i was sad because i have so many instances of unholy choices in my life. not just free floating instances, either -- unholiness is woven so tightly into my daily routine. and it made me sad...
and spending time with the sisters was fantastic. they're such strong, beautiful women. and the salve... oh, the salve. it was so beautiful. so incredibly beautiful. simple, joyful prayers.
Lord, may i simply, joyfully speak with you.
so after the nun party i headed out to greer, then worked the weekend program today for camp. it was amazing to see the campers again.. absolutely amazing. and i had a sweet new camper in my group today -- she was 10 years old, downs, absolutely adorable... and a lot of old favorites in our group, as well. and crafty was there.. all decked out in a bowling outfit (we went bowling and to cicis).
we had a camper today who loved to put things down her shirt. she's nonverbal and only knows a few signs, so when she took her aid's cell phone and threw it down her shirt, asking for it back wasn't really an option. and the whole item-shirt thing was a habit that traced back to the summer.. so when she put the phone down her shirt, i stole her notebook (yes, the entire notebook), and shoved it down mine. she looked at me like i was nuts, then slowly handed back the cell phone.
fire with fire, baby.
i don't know.. camp just seems so natural. when i'm with the campers, i forget about friend issues and insecurities and finances and furman in general. i'm myself. i'm joyful. i'm free.
yeah, i think i ran away this weekend -- i got scared of how competitive furman is... how concerned everyone is with everyone else. and i realized that i hang out in a group a lot of the time... and i promised i wouldn't ever seek comfort in groups again. maybe i ran back to my summer.
okay, i definately ran back into summer. it was wonderful, though.
after camp cory helped us fix things that needed fixed around the apartment (and funny enough -- i kept breaking things as he fixed them.. a bulletin board, a lamp.. i made my rounds), then we headed to greer and out to chief's to watch the usc / sc state game with some friends from camp.. and we had a ball. i love that crew -- we're all so different, but we have something incredible in common. and it's good.
and i have a very patient, understanding, wonderful boyfriend.
so i'm heading to bed -- up for mass, lunch with cory's fam, homework galore, delta meetings, chapter, and more homework. phew!
gnite!
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