time, talent, treasure.fr. pat described them tonight as "annoying subjects"... which was the most honest, accurate description of tithing i've ever encountered. we describe it as this amazing, exciting thing... and it's not. ever. especially as a college student.
so i'm selfish. i realized it tonight... God gives us so much time -- precious time -- and we waste it. wasting time is like wasting money.. worse than wasting money, namely because you can't replace time. so i had this little dialogue with God.
"alright, Lord... I'm usually out of time and okay on treasure."
-- "so give me that."
"well... not today. today I have time, but i'm out of treasure."
-- "so give me that."
"but... i'm going to end up spending a whole lot of time building treasure."
-- "so give me that."
wow, God is flexible. He really leaves us no excuse to not do anything. dawgone it.
is that how it goes?
::sigh::
this weekend was really incredible. busy, but incredible. friday was fun -- dinner out downtown with mandy, david, jessie, cory.. i love laughing with them. we laugh a lot. over stupid, funny things. like ordering the right food, or fixing a broken bed, or making tallies on a coozie. it was fantastic.
friday morning i went to see cory's school... adorable. at one point, i watched him chase a pack of shreiking 2nd grade girls around the track outside... they came back red faced, out of breath, smiling, and giggling about how they beat the old gym teacher. he is amazing at his job. it's beautiful.
my tie was awkward as it is every year... in fact, i think it gets more awkward as you get older because you know fewer and fewer people. and awkward upperclassmen go in order that they, too, may thrive in the sea of awkwardness. so o-staff crashed it, did a hot rendition of solider boy.. jessie was my spicey date.. we had a good time. afterwards, we drove by mcdonalds, bought ice cream and iced coffee, and headed to the manor for the first big party of the year.
yeah, iced coffee at a frat party ;)
the manor was really fun but really strange. first, there were camp people there. it was great to see them, but it was a strange fusion of two very different parts of my life. i never realized until recently how much i compartmentalize my life... and sometimes it's a good thing, but sometimes it's a bad thing. it gets a little bipolar when i get stressed because i end up running out of time to pray through the process so i just end up throwing things in hypothetical "good" and "bad" piles. compartmentalization quickly turns to pessimistic generalization. hence my mini-meltdown tonight. but more on that later.
so yes, camp people... added to random, sketchy upperclassmen non-pi-kapp-guys. tres strange. but it was so good to see everyone... and no matter how much those boys have changed over the last few years, they're still classy, fabulous, and ecclectic. and i love it. lots of good conversations, too. that's what i like about furman frat parties.. drunk people still love to discuss religion, sex, and politics. in fact, they may love those discussions even more.
it's amazing.
so i stayed at the manor far later than i had anticipated.. came home, crashed, and woke up early to read an entire book for my autism seminar (had to borrow the professor's copy because mine never came in.. so i literally had to read it in a day). i couldn't put the book down, though, so it all ended up okay in the end. i actually enjoyed having an excuse to read it through... it was called Send in the Idiots: Stories from the Other Side of Autism... and it was a memoire written by a man with autism. he goes back and finds some of his special ed autistic classmates from when he was younger to see how they are and where they've gone with their lives.
his perspective is fascinating.. because to him, conversation is a formula. social interractions are formulas. socialization is a game, and each word, body language, or glance is part of the score. on one level, his portrayal of conversation seems superficial.. on the other hand, he has a point. we learn how to communicate with propriety, so as to feel accepted. we're social beings. some people with ASD just lack that innate formula that the rest of us use to naturally communicate. they learn a formula by observation. and through these formulas, they learn to form friendships, write speeches, participate in relationships, become educated. they learn to be functional, contributng members of society.
after reading the book, i felt jaded with socialization. it all felt so contrived, so unnatural... i'm not sure why. maybe reading about it being broken down to the molecular level... it was like reading the ingredients on a twinkie. never do it if you want to blissfully, ignorantly enjoy each bite.
i've never been one for twinkies, i suppose.
so anyways, that was the book. it was lovely.
saturday the roomies (minus fusabing jessie) and the roomies bf's had a fun little USC-LSU tailgate/fiesta in the apt while we put together our costumes for crush. although the score didn't quite work out as hoped, the group was still a lot of fun. and we had a few snazzy fun visitors, too, which was awesome :) it was really fun... aside from the conversations about my potential children and their potential accents. babymakerbridgette has left the building.
crush was amazing. the theme was "represent your state," and cory and i went as a country boy and ms. teen south carolina. he decked out in john deere gear, work pants and boots, etc.. (i had to talk him out of the leatherman.. the rest of the costume was such a strech for him anyway..), and i wore a cut off jean skirt, a pink tank top with the ms. teen sc speech across it, plus the essential sash and tiarra. he brought an inflatable globe so we could identify where "US Americans" live, and i brought the rainbow trout, much to his protest.
backwoods boy and a fairytale princess...
i just had a blast.. and he was a trooper about meeting so many people at once. and once the awkward rap music turned into the fun 80s type stuff, dancing got groovy. my shagging stinks, though. learned that pretty quickly.
so best parts... having the best date, costumes were a hit, fishie made his way to a function, food was yummy, roomies boyfriends are awesome
worst part... being chased around the art gallery by russell and cory as they both tried to rub their butts on me. ;)
and we fell asleep on the way back. we looked like the drunkenly passed out party couple, but we were both sober. elderly, no?
today was nice, too.. woke up and headed to greer for yummy sunday supper with cory's fam.. did some tri-delt stuff, finished my econ homework, toured the tractors with cory's grandpa, played with the dogs, tried (unsuccessfully) to shoot skeet (again)... even ate a sunflower seed while we drove the pickup truck back. mind you, i shucked it with my fingers and tossed the empty seed out the window (carpetbaggers don't spit), but it was still part of the "experience"
talked to watermelon on the way home... he was in a wedding and kept going on about the bridesmaid he danced with. it was adorable.
Mass was wonderful. on campus Mass is so laid back.. the priest is very friendly and simple and ridiculous (he compared the Church to the mafia and God as the Italian gangster who pinches your cheeks because you defended his sister... at which point he flashed a gangish sign), which is always refreshing. and i thought about a lot of things. practical things. ways-to-live things.
after chapter i cooked chicken stirfry because i was having my "fifteen minutes"... vented about the cliquishness of furman and how i absolutely hate it, then forgot all about being upset and hung out with my fantastic roommates and company.
jessie leaves tomorrow morning. i don't know what i'm going to do without her.... :( :( :(
i need to go to bed so i can wake up for the departure... i don't do goodbyes. just "see you laters"... unless the person is really gone for good, in which case saying goodbye is absolutely pointless. so really, there's no good use for the word other than to emotionally stimulate tears. and i don't like crying when the person is coming back. save the tears for when someone doesn't.
wow, i sound so angry-depressive. this isn't a sore subjet, i promise ;)
so yes, bed before a very busy monday...
ANYONE WHO READS THIS POST.. GO TO CHILLI'S TODAY TO EAT!! ALL PROCEEDS GO TO BENEFIT ST. JUDE CHILDRENS HOSPITAL... WHICH HAPPENS TO BE OUR NATIONAL PHILANTHROPY!!!
huzzah!
goodnight, moon...
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