whoa, furman.

jeepers.

talk about feeling thrown into the world again. it's so strange how constricting the "bubble" feels after a summer, after a few months of freedom, after new experiences and friendships. o-week was fantastic because it was comfortable and new. beautifully new. every year.

but the real furman? the people that return, the drama that comes back... it's a little much sometimes.

maybe that's why i've been so introverted lately.

i was thinking about it today... and perhaps it's the whole "getting over the hump" thing... junior year. done with looking for friends, finding my niche. i found it. Lord knows what it actually is, but wherever i am, i'm happy. the whole "home is where the heart is" thing... it's nice. i don't need a place or a specific group of people or anything like that to be at home. i've got my family behind me, love in my heart, and my Lord guiding the way... and it sounds so cliche, but that's all i need.

all you need is love... da-de-da-da...

i used to think that song was so cliche.. but i kind of get it. it's not talking about that feel-good love of the movies... or even always a relationship. it's talking about that constant self-denial.. that real love.. that makes the world go around. people come and go, but our unlimited capacity to love remains the same. i'm realizing how much of life is adjusting how we love to the circumstances we're in. the single life requires such different love skills than the married life. it kind of blows me away to think about it. maybe all of the people that have come and gone in and out of my life are just new circumstances to teach me to love in new ways... maybe God's teaching me something more.

so maybe the ups and downs of life are like those basketball drills where you have to slide up and down the court and change direction quickly, at the blow of a whistle. you think you have the movement down, then a quick change of circumstance throws you off guard.

so i suppose the new school year is yet another blow of the ole' whistle.

today was good, though -- these meloncholy musings aren't meant to be downers -- i'm actually extremely happy. it's just not that excited, energetic happy that used to characterize my "good times"... it's different. i just have a peace in my heart... a joyful, simple peace that i can carry with me. that excited energy happiness fades with sleep deprivation and daily worries. i'm realizing that a deeper joy is more constant than feeling happy.

so today i'm happy. i don't feel happy, i am happy. state of being.

it was a really good day, too -- i've been blessed with too many of those to count lately. i suppose i should start with last nigh, simply because it was amazing. president's picnic is always fun (well.. except when we're setting up chairs. not fun.), but for some reason this year was more fun than the last. kelly and i had the bird room... and essentailly, we all get to make up crazy stories and spiel them to the freshmen as fact. we're hired to lie, if you will.

"on behalf of o-staff, kelly and i would like to welcome you to the bird room, named so for the glass display cases of bird statues lining the wall behind us. these birds were collected by mrs. furman, who loved to go bird watching with her younger brother, with whom she was very close. he was only two years younger than her -- handicapped, actually, which is why this table is so low -- (added that line after the 4th tour) and the two would go up and down the appalacian trail, watching for new species of birds. with each new species they encountered, mrs. furman would order a custom carved, hand painted replica to display around her house, each statue worth over ten thousand dollars... thus one case could easily pay for many tuitions (cue chuckles).

"now, these birds are all in this particular room because mrs. furman's brother was in a tragic accident while bird hunting -- he actually got bitten by a rabid wild boar and died two weeks later, sending his sister into a deep depression. she ordered that all birds be brought into this room.. out of sight, out of mind.. and she never entered this room again. its current untouched state is just how she left it."

now, let's pause and think for a moment...

A RABID WILD BOAR ATTACKED MRS FURMAN'S HANDICAPPED LITTLE BROTHER?!?!

yet they believed it. and kelly proceeded to tell them that a coffee stain on the wall dated to when lucille ball threw a mug at her husband.

puh-leeze.

so yes, pres pic was fantastic. afterwards i spent some much needed down time with mandy and the bf and went to bed early. i'm turning into a grandma -- early to bed, early to rise.

so got up around 6:30/7ish... had breakfast, ran errands, went to the pac, visited a friend, then painted. i love painting. i'm not a talented artist, but i love conceptual, geometric things.. and i actually made something i'm pretty proud of, which doesn't happen all too often. it's a cute little tray i bought for $3 from walmart (finished ones retail for around $20), and i hand painted it madras-style, with my monogram on one panel, polka dots, paislies, zebra stripes, etc.. on the others.. and it's amazing. and i found this cute little side table at goodwill for $15, so i lined a drawer with pink polka-dotted fabric and set the tray on top. my room is FINALLY coming together.

got a nice surprise and was able to spend some more time with the bf after he got off work.. then we headed to the oyster bar in greer with mandy and one of his friends from college. we had an absolute ball.. oysters were half price, and cory and i ALMOST destroyed a peck on our own. and the waitress taught me how to shuck without killing myself.. which was a far cry from my previous living-on-the-edge strategy of attacking it from the flap and prying it open. i kept up pretty well, if i do say so myself... and i enjoyed saving the tag-along oysters that cory kept throwing away... the lonely ones that were clinging to the big guys for dear life and were all too easily forgotten.

okay, so maybe i got a little TOO into the shucking process.

ooh, and we found this phone in my car.. there's this secret compartment in the middle of the console (clearly, secret's out...) and in it i found an ooooollld cell phone (giant) that we decided to play with. so i called cory's real phone, he pulled it out in the middle of the restaurant.. it was priceless. his friend was so confused. fun.

fun, fun, fun.

i don't know.. something about the drive to greer totally calms me. mandy and i jammed out to some sweet country / cory smith tunes with the sunroof open, singing and laughing and talking. my heart slows down a little bit when i get further away from furman. or maybe when i get closer to greer. it's nice.

so the evening was absolutely lovely. GBOH is one of my favorite places ever.

we got back and moved furniture.. the girls all went out and i cleaned the kitchen and hung up some artwork.. and i'm about to go tackle the rest of my room. the goal is to finish tonight.. get everything hooked up and ready to go.

classes start tomorrow. eep!

so may this productive day give way to another... :) thank you, Lord, for a wonderful day.