the day clothes grew on trees

now that i'm home, i realize how much i've really missed my mother.

"sweetie, will you take these dresses outside and hang them on a tree?"
--"excuse me?"
"on a tree. it will help get the smell out. they're on hangers."
--"seriously?'
"yes. go."

(yet again the kellehers look absolutely nuts)

"bridgette, i think you should go to law school."
--"but mom.. i don't want to be a lawyer."
"you could be a lawyer.. for people with special needs!"
--"yes, i could. but i don't want to be a lawyer."
"i can't believe you don't want to HELP people with SPECIAL NEEDS."

(excellent logic, no?)

so tonight i'm looking at grad schools. and more grad schools. trying to find some wonderful professor out there researching something that i'm truly interested in. i'm about to give up looking through websites and just start looking at research.. getting my geek on sorting through piles of articles until i find some research project that inspires me. maybe i'll go from there.

it just seems like such a big decision. i want to graduate with a psychology degree because i love the discipline. but you can't find a job with a BS in psych. you just can't. so do i need to double major?

gulp.

i just don't know if going to school until i'm thirty is something i'm interested in. which is why i'm compulsively looking through site after site until something catches my eye enough to interest me for the rest of my life :) it's tempting to tag on a business management degree "just in case"... but that feels like a cop out. an "i-have-no-faith-in-myself-to-do-what-i-want-to-do" ploy to make money if living life to the fullest falls through.

or i could live on a farm and make babies? i told a friend that earlier and he responded with a "well i'm glad you haven't changed too much this summer, bridge."

here's the thing. 4-7 more years of school after the 2 i have left seems absolutely terrifying now. but when they're done, i'd be able to do what i truly love.. and it's a family-friendly job. it truly is. i just swore up and down i wouldn't think about marriage, family, anything until i'm out of school. and i just don't see myself getting married in my 30s. being in love doesn't help.

and i'd like to say i'm getting ahead of myself here.. but i don't think that i am. right now, i'm engaged to at least six more years of school. do i break it off or go mormon with a business or religion or hes degree? or do i just chill out and try to find a job with a BS?

okay, enough of this.

mother is very concerned about the mother duck in the neighborhood.

"we got back from tahoe and the mother duck only had one baby left.. so apparently they hatched and we missed the whole 'ordeal'.. (referring to the annual slaughter of the baby ducklings by the neighborhood waterfowl).. i personally think she's a little nutty. she never hangs onto her babies. so today, i went outside and there were TWO baby ducks! where has the other one been? i think she's a little whacky in the head... what? she was eating something today and remembered she had a mia duckling floating around? not right in the head..."

i went outside to retrieve the laundry from the trees and passed the momma duck. i could have sworn she looked at me like i was nuts. which is appropriate, i suppose. my laundry was hanging from the trees.

yay, home.