the night i caught up with my boys

oh, so happy. i'm so happy.

went out to dinner with wade, andrew, and cullen to uno mas.. this amazing little mexican-inspired restaurant owned by the same guy who runs all of the amazing little mount pleasant restaurants... had amazing duck nachos for an appetizer (i like duck! i didn't think i'd like duck!) and tamales for my entree. i've decided i really want to learn how to make tamales... i remember watching mr. rogers do it when i was little, and ever since i've wanted to do the whole wrapping-in-a-corn-husk thing. it looks like fun.

so anyways, boy time was good. we decided to watch the most horrible movie we could find, so we stopped by andrews and picked up the oh-so-classy interview with a vampire.. which is honestly the worst movie with the best cast ever. ridiculous. brad pitt, kirsten dunst, antonio vanderez, etc. etc... yet the movie is absolutely awful. good to laugh at?

afterwards wade was driving me back and we randomly decided to go get coffee instead.. and we had one of those amazing long talks that makes you all warm and fuzzy inside. i mean, we've been friends for six years... just seeing where we've come and how we've grown... it's amazing. absolutley amazing. we can talk for hours and never have a dull moment and still have so much more to talk about. i miss wade. so much.

we get each other.

i'm learning a lot from the people in my life.. about friendships, about what kind of friendships stay, which kinds fade in and out. intensity has nothing to do with it -- the most intense friendship can be gone overnight if it isn't rooted in virtue.. in patience, love, understanding. it just hurts more when it goes, that's all. and it sounds so simple. but there's something to be said for surrounding yourself with happy people. not necessarily people with happy lives, but happy people... whose glasses are half full, if you will. or if the glasses are empty, the glasses are still cute. and if they're not cute, at least they're not polycarbonate.

you get the gist.

i'm looking for something different these days, too. it took me a long time to find what i'm looking for... in myself, in my friends. decorating my room has been a nice little paralell to my personal life -- i love crazy prints, diverse accessories, out-of-the-box designs.. but they all tie together. some of them with colors, some of them with shapes... but they all work together, despite the differences. and i would never put the zebra painting by the leaf lamp, or the burnt orange pillow by the green shag carpet.. but they co exist perfectly. it's kind of how the people in my life are... they're all so different. so, so different. but they fit in the room that has become my heart. i cleared it out last year -- gutted the damn thing -- and re-filling it with what matters has taken discernment. but i'm getting there. it's finally feeling full again. it took some time.

the thing i've learned about filling a heart -- let people leave, but never keep anyone out who genuinely wants in. people add vibrancy to our lives... all sorts of people. diversity stretches us -- challenges who we are, what makes us come alive. with God's guidance, we can find what makes us come alive. for me, i feel alive when i'm praying. when i'm dusting the dirt off my knees after chasing a camper across a field. when i'm dangling my barefeet out of the window of a pickup truck. when i'm laughing with friends over a glass of wine. when i'm listening to someone i admire describe someone they love. when i'm kissing my dog on the nose. when i'm turning in a test i nailed. when i'm drinking tea with my roommates. when i'm cuddled up under a big fluffy comforter. when i'm crying. when i'm dancing on top of a parking garage. when i'm scared. when i'm studying something i love. when i'm in love. when i'm at peace with God.

i didn't know many of those things 6 months ago. who knows what i'll have discovered 6 months from now.

:) good night.

"how are you doing?"
"i'm doing grrrrrrrrrrrrreat. like tony the tiger."
"i dated him once. he was grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat"
"damn tiger. now every time someone asks how i'm doing, i'll say 'splendid.'"
"splendid? really?"
"yeah."
"why?"
"you dated the tiger."
"how are you doing?"
"splendid. how bout yourself?"
"grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat."