the day i tried to start piecing things together

so being back home is kind of hitting me like a brick wall.

i mean.. i knew that i had a lot to do when i got home, but i didn't realize it was quite this much. between trying to make some money, getting insurance stuff squared away, washing all my clothes 5 times, spending time with my family, cleaning, unpacking from college (still), unpacking from camp, figuring out how to decorate an apartment, car hunting (kind of), tri-delta stuff, and job hunting... i'm in shell shock.

i'm used to waking up at 7:30 and helping girls go about daily routines.. taking care of people. it's weird, but taking care of myself stresses me out a whole lot more.

i think i'm just a little shaken up from everything... i can feel myself being stressed. and pat's going off to school in two weeks, so everything is kind of messy and crazy. i haven't had a chance to really enjoy being home yet. granted, i've been here for less than 24 hours.

i just really miss my campers.

they kept me focused on what really matters.. on the priorities that will truly bring us to God, that will truly make us happy. the real world is so much crazier than that -- filled with cell phones and bills and deadlines and tragedy. it's kind of depressing.

the friends i met at camp helped me focus on the important things, too -- we were like a family by the end of it all. i guess that's what happens when you bond over someone having a siezure or a camper throwing a chair at you or craving real vegetables...

i learned to be sensitive with the little time i had to myself -- an hour to journal, to pray, to shower, to nap. the routine became refreshing. when school starts, i'll get in a new routine, i'm sure.. but right now, i kind of miss it.

this feeling -- this gut yearning for the people i've spent the last nine weeks around -- makes me realize how strong love is. the love of those campers (and the staff) made me a better person... drew me closer to God. that love was real.

far too often, "love" is not.

so its time to make some lists, sit on the back porch, drink some sweet tea, and read. maybe eat a twizzler or two :) i've got time..